Enough of the Banter!

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The Oxford English Dictionary defines banter as, "The playful and friendly exchange of teasing remarks."

Years of working in the financial services sector in London taught me that banter in the workplace is a way of life. To be honest, I loved the banter. I still do. When right, it brings humour, connection and builds trust in workplace relationships and teams.

Unfortunately, banter can gets misused and can create toxic work environments that impact engagement and productivity. This is an issue that cropped up in a number of our team coaching sessions last year, and is bound to do so again.

In these sessions, we have come across team members that are quick to point fingers - "He is the worst culprit, Her remarks are deadly",...and so on.

In these cases, rather than single out an individual in a team for a behavior that lives in the system, Relationship Systems Intelligence tells us that everything that happens in a system is an expression of that system.

In the case of a particular team that uses banter in an unhealthy manner, our question to them becomes:

"What is it that lives in your system or what unspoken rules do you have, that make it okay for individuals to hurt one another, in the name of banter? "

The banter needs to stop when:

  1. It is hurtful to anyone: it doesn't matter what your intentions are or how much joy banter brings, if it is hurting someone's feelings or causing discomfort, stop!
  2. It marginalises: if it excludes others or makes anyone feel like they cannot join in. This can often be the case because of various privileges (usually not acknowledged) that some team members may have over others - it could be the privilege of being male or female, being a native language speaker or not, generational differences etc. The list is endless!
  3. It distracts from the work: this goes without saying. As much as healthy banter builds engagement, we also know that it can distract from work and when excessive, impacts productivity. That balance between engagement and productivity is one to always pay attention to.

Now, over to you…

Any comments on the joy or pain that comes with banter?

If you would like to discuss specific cases or other behaviours that impact your team engagement and/or performance, get in touch for an informal chat.

Obi James specialises in shaping organisational culture by transforming workplace relationships and teams. She has a track record of successfully helping clients to navigate systemic and cultural issues that emerge in relationships, mergers, acquisitions and organisational change initiatives.

Particularly skilled at creating safe environments for courageous ‘deep democracy’ conversations that allow individuals and teams to expand their views on complex issues, explore other perspectives and understand others’ views so they can build better collaboration, and achieve greater results. 


Develop Leaders Relationships - Get along | Know what you are doing | Make it work., Obi James Consultancy Limited

I work with business and teams leaders to strengthen their personal and/or professional relationships and engage the power of the collective. My programmes will look beyond individual agendas and pull you together to achieve a common goal. When you effectively listen, invite and welcome different perspectives, you motivate and empower all parties. Leadership becomes a hat everyone can and will wear. This inclusive culture of shared leadership builds trust, fuels creativity and takes pressure off you individually. Silos are broken down, you collaborate better and you unlock new, better solutions. This creates fulfillment, saves time, cuts costs, and consistently increases meaningful union. To reset your leadership and relationship, get in touch. For more information, please visit http://www.obijames.com/