Let the present serve you when you don't know what to do
Sometimes we find ourselves in a situation where our mind work overtime to solve things, and feelings of frustration cloud our vision of the next best steps. Here is a 3-step process I use to move myself from confusion and stuckness into calm and action.
When life brings you a whole lot of challenges at the same time, it can be hard to navigate.
It is uncomfortable - the uncertainty, the lack of clarity what to do, the fear of what will happen, the worry about if all will go well. We can get ourselves trapped in a maze of thoughts that take us no where in the search for what to do. Or projecting outwards on the world outside of ourselves - blaming other people or getting angry with our circumstances
Where we easily end up is in our mind to try to solve things, work things out, find the answers. So that we can move on with our life more quickly, gain clarity and be happy and let go of the discomfort that have taken space in our body.
I get myself into what I call 'confusion traps' sometimes. It is when there seems to be so many things that I need to take action on and so many things that need to happen. I get stressed, and my default is confusion - where all I'm left with is a feeling of not knowing what to do or where to even start to unravel the gordian knot that life sometimes seem to tangle itself into.
There are a lot of things that can help in this situation to help us move on. Here is one 3-step process I use to move myself from confusion and stuckness into calm and action.
1. I get to the truth
I always dive deeper into the underlying truth of the challenges. I investigate deeply within myself the meaning I have attached to the situation and the things that are happening. What thoughts and feelings have I created about and attached to this particular issue? What am I giving my power to in this situation?
Am I making something mean that I'll not succeed, that I don't have what it takes, that I'm not good enough, that I'm not strong enough, that I don't have time enough. What deeper meaning is running my thoughts and feelings right now?
This will give you clarity about what is really driving your thoughts, feelings and actions in the situation. It is an opportunity to gain perspective. And an opportunity to dissolve those limiting thought patterns that cloud your situation. What ever you think your challenge is, there is almost always a deeper truth to be found.
2. I sit with what is
When the deeper truth is starting to appear, I sit with what is. I really accept what ever feelings come up - regardless of how uncomfortable they are. If we reject or resist anything in ourselves, then we reject all of ourselves.
It takes courage and commitment to really dive as deep as we can into the subconscious beliefs and assumptions we operate from in a situation. When we are suffering in life, it is often connected to deep parts of ourselves that are rarely very pretty to look at or aspects that we like to be confronted with.
But really sitting with what is and give it space - even if it feels uncomfortable, scares you or even makes you nauseous is what will give the stuck emotions room to move and transform into something better.
Don't be scared of anything that comes up.
3. I stay in the present and wait for guidance
When I'm in my confusion trap, then I don't know what to do. No action feels quite right and I'm not sure what is the best action to take. But I'm standing with this challenge in front of me that I have to solve.
By now, I know what is driving me and the meaning I have attached to it, I have been sitting with it until it has moved and released its grip on me. That has given me a level of peace and calm, but it hasn't necessarily given me action points. And action is needed so that we can start manifesting the changes we want to see happen.
Then the best thing to do is be present and wait. Trust that your next best step will show it self.
It's not easy. It feels like being in a waiting room, waiting for the bus to take you somewhere so you can arrive safely to where you want to be. It's not coming and you just have to sit there. Instead of getting annoyed, fearful, frustrated, upset - turn your awareness to the present. To the truth of this moment and accept what is.
What would you do if you had to make yourself as comfortable as possible in this situation? What is the most joyful thing you can do right now? What is the best thing you can do for yourself to just be present? Make a cup of tea, sit and breathe, take a walk, just sit and stare, clean. Even if it doesn't feel quite like the most joyful thing - is it still the most joyful thing of all the things that are available to you right now?
Don't distract yourself with external stimuli like phones and tv. Be present.
And when you have done that thing, ask yourself 'what is the next thing I can do?' What do I feel like doing now? Not what is the best thing, the right thing. But what do you feel able to do now from this place in yourself?
Follow those steps one by one and all of a sudden you will have moved yourself out of immediate confusion and into action. Taking ALIGNED action is what brings calm, clarity and a feeling of empowerment.
If we take actions from a fearful, limited self, we will quickly just create more and more suffering for ourselves.
Taking the time now will save you down the road
These steps take time. It can be an hour, it can be 5 minutes it can be a whole day. It all depends on where you are in your journey. The question is if you have the courage to take the time out now to get to the root cause, to get yourself in alignment and to heal yourself. Or if you will continue to struggle, which counterintuitive can seem like a seducing place to me. Because the other course of action is unfamiliar.
It takes courage, trust and acceptance - and knowing that you are whole. You have what it takes.
But every time you take time out to go through this process, you develop strength, deep inner awareness, courage and power, which will serve you in all areas of your life.
So next time you find yourself in a stressful situation that blocks your vision; Understand what deeper beliefs are driving you in the situation 2) Sit with it and accept is as much as you can so you give it room to move. Resist nothing. 3) And then wait. Be present and just ask what is the next thing I can do - regardless of how much sense it makes to you at the time. Just do the next inspired action and get yourself back on track.