The secret to being positive

Even the most positive people have off days. We are only human after all, and this wonderful journey of life brings a rollercoaster of emotions and experiences that put us to the test, every single day. It's how we choose to handle or look at the situation that changes the experience for us.

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There are years where I've flipped out and lost it because something has angered or upset me.  Frustration built up about where I was in my life, comparing myself to others or getting wound up because someone had done something wrong towards me.  

This would eat me up inside and create a whole raft of negative emotions.  Truth be told, the only person that was impacted by this, was me.  I was the one that lost out because I allowed these negative feelings and emotions to take over me.

When I look back on these moments now and the wonderful gift of hindsight, I would do so many things differently.

Over the last few years, I’ve created my own personal toolkit to help bring me out of my negative funk and prevent the bad mood experience being longer than it should be - I’m proud to say that I've perfected this experience to a day now!  The saying is true; a new day, a new start.

I’m not sure about you, but the thing I struggled with the most was that feeling that I’d let myself down.  Being my own worst critic, as we all often are with ourselves, I’d beat myself up mentally at how I could let myself get that way about something or how long I’d let it go on for.  The guilt of not being positive for a short while can often be more difficult than actually not being positive.

The reality is it’s how we choose to look at the situation – our own judgement of ourselves and the situation that we’ve found ourselves in.

Many times I just wanted to feel light and happy, as I’m sure we all want to feel.  Similar to that “new love” feeling, no wonder people become addicted to that feeling!  Let’s be honest why would anyone want to feel sad, angry, bitter or resentment towards something.  That’s a hard slog to have that emotion every single day.  But what if we learnt to bring that feeling of love into our lives, every single day?  What if we could bring about our own self-love and create that light, wonderful and magical feeling for ourselves? 

It was this outlook that helped me to change and put things into perspective.  The best bit was I already had the tools, ready and at my disposal.  All I needed to do was use them.

  1. The power of the breath; it’s incredible how just focusing on our breathing can really bring you back to calmness.  Inhaling oxygen deep into the body and exhaling the air that’s stuck is extremely beneficial for both the body and mind.  Visualising the worries or sadness leaving the body as you exhale.  Try it; take three deep breaths and as you inhale on each breath just hold it for 10 seconds before exhaling.
  2. Practicing gratitude; noticing the blessings you already have in your life really can turn things around.  The things we take for granted are the little miracles we have in our everyday life.  When we take that moment to be thankful, it can shift our mood instantly.
  3. Listen to the mind-chatter; we have over 70,000 thoughts a day our minds are constantly active.  Through research, 80% of those daily thoughts are negative – it can be a combination of negativity towards our situations, our self or others.  That’s a high percentage! Our mind can play a huge part in the way we live our lives, by telling ourselves something we start to believe it.  So how you can shift a negative mindset to be more positive?  Start by keeping a log of your thoughts – keep a tally chart of positive and negative thoughts over the course of a few hours.  Notice the negative chatter creeping into your mind over the course of the day and try a positive affirmation to bring you back.  My favourite is ‘You’ve got this and each day you’re making an impact’.

On-going practice and patience helps to perfect these techniques.  By being aware of your mind and how to revive positivity into your life, quickly and easily is the biggest practice of all. 

I’d love to know how you get on with these techniques, so please do share in the comments with me below. 

Josie Copsey

Life Change Expert, Author, Mentor, Josie Copsey Ltd

Career changes, figuring out the perfect job, building incredible leaders and wellbeing are my jam. But before all of this, there was a corporate girl who had to go through quite a few setbacks, lessons and experiences. Ambitious, driven and focused I built a very successful change and training career that spanned over two decades. Helping leadership teams of large companies to transform their business. But back in 2013 I had enough. I was lost and didn’t recognise who I was anymore. A combination of being professionally bullied, suffering with burnout from working 12-hour days and zero personal life had done me in. My corporate work life had taken over me, I was selling my soul to a job and my health was suffering as a result. I took action and quit the job. Getting clear on my career was the ultimate light-bulb moment for me. But, there had been no definitive path in how I go about making this career change happen; all I knew was what I wanted to do and my determination and focus guided me through. I’m a gal who loves to plan and organise – a couple of my superpowers – so I documented every step and action I took knowing that one day, this would help others just like me. Those who have an idea on what they want to do, but unsure how to make it happen. Those who feel lost and hate their job, but don’t know what to do. Those who are stuck and looking for direction. I teach what I’ve done personally to build a career doing what I love and living the life I want. I’m all about taking action; you tell me what you want and I’ll show you how to make it happen. It is absolutely possible and achievable to be in a job you love; a job that brings you purpose and job satisfaction. You’re here for a reason. Your talents, your heart, your passion – you are one of a kind.