How my act of kindness brought us back to our true relationship...
Yesterday I broke the shell of harshness of my partner, finally.
He has experienced a difficult period with losing his dad. After a few months he was definitely becoming more aloof, more difficult to understand. His pain has overwhelmed his emotions and his peace of mind. He became more and more remote and in his shell. The pain and the sadness had become the reason for him protect himself with this attitude. I was definitely suffering, unable to share time and essence with a companion who was becoming more and more distant from me. The kindness he is known for was really fading away.
And I let him be for a while. But honestly it was hard. Facing a being that is not open nor warm but secluded in an invisible protection, sending a rather harsh energy of despair when actually life was good. Sharing this energy every day was a trial for me. I tried all I could to break the heavy silence but I did not succeed.
Until one day I realised it was not an equal game. It was not a reciprocal and balanced game at that stage in our relationship. It was time to become a giver, a carer, no matter what was going to come to me, anger, sadness, fear or any other emotion.
In a way I was not ready to face those emotions either. The more I was trying to protect myself from them the more the relationship was becoming strange as he was not ready to open his shell. And by reaction I was then living in my own bubble. Losing the thread of sacredness between us.
That was the only way. Bringing kindness into the relationship. The minute I started to be truly kind, offering my time, my understanding, my care, I felt the release of this tension between us, and in him. I was trying to understand his true needs which was bringing some relief and comfort, helping him release his emotional burden.
It was almost like my kindness brought back some trust that was in a way lost. He could open up again.
Being kind is really becoming the beloved, offering a piece of your time, your essence, your gift, your understanding. Offering the beloved to carry them across a difficult time. Pure kindness. Without any idea of being granted back in return.
It connects us back to our true and divine nature, the one of our soul. And that is the gift. The minute you act with true kindness, you connect with your true self, this kindness will come to you as a gift. When you feel the beauty of giving, you will feel the beauty of who you truly are, inside.