Overcome your fears in 5 steps

That word fear; creates a combination of awkward and uncomfortable feelings throughout the body. You cast your mind over to your own fears; the things that terrify you, haunt your mind or hold you back and prevent you from taking action to move forward. Where do they come from?

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For me, I know that my fears stemmed from a whole raft of situations over the years; childhood experiences, the views and expectations of society, along with the fear of the unknown, which I know many of us have.  My big hard-hitting two fears were:-

  1. Relationships; I had a lack of trust and feeling worthy enough for the right person, so I put up emotional barriers to prevent myself from getting hurt.
  2. Earning enough money; believing that I had to bust my backside in a job that I hated and found stressful to equate to working hard for my money.  My fear being that if I wasn't in one of these types of jobs, I wouldn't earn enough money.  

It wasn’t until on exploring this further that I started to uncover the why’s and where’s of our fears.  Through this research it helped me to gain more insight into my own fears and why I froze about taking action or why I couldn’t move forward in my life.

So a little fact for you... our human DNA has two fears ‘built in’ - The first is fear of loud noises and the second is fear of falling.  If your fears are not one of these two human built in fears, then great news!  You can work to overcome your fears.

Below are the steps I followed which really helped to make a difference in my world.  These steps allowed me to push past my fears and achieve the things I could only dream of.  

You’ll need a piece of paper and a pen, or if you prefer to journal in a notebook, this is a great way to look back on in months to come.

Write out your fears

It can sometimes be daunting writing out your deepest darkest fears, unleashing them out of your head and into the open world.  Writing out your fears, gives you back your power; you're releasing this monster that's holding you back in your life.  Seeing this fear looking back on you on paper provides you with a greater self-awareness and can help take the edge off of how scary this fear is.

Where does this fear originate from?

Take a moment to think about where this fear has come from. You might know this one instantly, but don’t worry if you can’t think of something for a while.  We can actually block out the reasons why we have these fears, because of trauma or unpleasantness that we may have experienced to get them.  Stick with this though, the reasons will come.

Taking action against the fear

First, ask whom do you need to forgive for this fear?  Now this might seem like a strange thing to consider when dealing with your fears, but somewhere along the way there may have been others who’ve contributed towards your fear.  In order for us to start taking action towards overcoming our fears, we first need to forgive.  Often it’s ourselves who we need to forgive, so please don't be so hard on yourself.  

Baby steps make all the difference…
Think about what steps you need to take to overcome this internal monster of yours. Start with where you are right now and the thing that terrifies you the most!  Next, fill in the gaps between the two, the actions that you can take to gradually get you there.   Consider if there is some help or support that you may need to push past this fear.

Celebrate your achievements
This is essential!  Each step or milestone you take towards overcoming your fear is a huge success and must be recognised.  Think about how you can celebrate and be sure to enjoy the moment, you’re well on your way to overcoming your biggest fears.

It's not something that happens overnight, but taking these steps can help to ease the fear and in some cases overcome the fear.  Each time you take a step forwards, you push your comfort zone, bringing a bit more flexibility where it doesn't seem so scary as before.  There will be new fears that present themselves throughout our lifetime, but by taking action you stretch out your comfort zone even more.

Just think of all the wonderful things waiting the other side of your fears; your hopes and dreams and oh aren't they worth it!

Josie Copsey

Life Change Expert, Author, Mentor, Josie Copsey Ltd

Career changes, figuring out the perfect job, building incredible leaders and wellbeing are my jam. But before all of this, there was a corporate girl who had to go through quite a few setbacks, lessons and experiences. Ambitious, driven and focused I built a very successful change and training career that spanned over two decades. Helping leadership teams of large companies to transform their business. But back in 2013 I had enough. I was lost and didn’t recognise who I was anymore. A combination of being professionally bullied, suffering with burnout from working 12-hour days and zero personal life had done me in. My corporate work life had taken over me, I was selling my soul to a job and my health was suffering as a result. I took action and quit the job. Getting clear on my career was the ultimate light-bulb moment for me. But, there had been no definitive path in how I go about making this career change happen; all I knew was what I wanted to do and my determination and focus guided me through. I’m a gal who loves to plan and organise – a couple of my superpowers – so I documented every step and action I took knowing that one day, this would help others just like me. Those who have an idea on what they want to do, but unsure how to make it happen. Those who feel lost and hate their job, but don’t know what to do. Those who are stuck and looking for direction. I teach what I’ve done personally to build a career doing what I love and living the life I want. I’m all about taking action; you tell me what you want and I’ll show you how to make it happen. It is absolutely possible and achievable to be in a job you love; a job that brings you purpose and job satisfaction. You’re here for a reason. Your talents, your heart, your passion – you are one of a kind.