You are in charge of your direction

Why don't we just take the responsibility for all that is happening to us and do something about it?

Like Comment

Today I had a very inspiring and empowering Happiness Club session in London. For those that are not aware about my whereabouts, I have moved here 3 weeks ago and I’ve just launched a new, London’s Happiness Club through the Meetup apps. This is a completely different Happiness Club to the one I was running in Jersey. This club unlike the Jersey one is open to anyone who wishes to join and take part in it. We are meeting at the Southbank Centre on Level 5 a few times per month and we discuss and elaborate different aspects of happiness topics.

I am now sitting at Level 6 with an amazing view of the River Thames, I am drinking a late, the sun is shining and I can’t stop smiling… I just finished my morning happiness gathering followed by an amazingly progressive discovery session with a client. I love my life. What an incredible journey I have decided to take.

Let me tell you something. Just 6 weeks ago I was sitting at my then local cafe in a little picturesque island of Jersey. An island inhabited by roughly 100.000 people, dominated by off shore monetary convenience, strong internal connotations and massive constrains of choice and opportunities. I allowed myself to be contained in that little bubble of surreality for over a decade. I was in need of this artificial comfort, peace and safety but at the same time I had to accept the restriction of choice, sameness, bigotry, massive pretence and an overwhelming power struggle, so well visible in little places…

I was sitting there and dreamt of other places, other chances and options. I was dreaming so big that my dreams were petrifying me. What happened next, was just unbelievable! Suddenly some completely unforeseen and never to be predicted circumstances occurred in my life. In a split of second my husband and I made a decision that has forever changed the course of our life, but also the course of life of some people around us.

We left Jersey and decided to stay open for everything that comes our way, after a couple of a years that were not particularly happy, although the most valuable we could ever imagine. We’ve learnt some life lessons then, which permitted the shift into our lives. Now I understand the past struggle, pain and heart-breaking sadness. I wouldn’t be where I am now and I wouldn’t be going where I am heading right now, if I didn’t stay there for the last 10 years.

Anyway, I am in London now. And I feel here, like I always imagined I would feel if I were to move here. Free.

I walk the streets of London and admire the diversity and melange of cultures, smells, tastes and visual nourishment. The whole society here is different, beautiful and at the same time equal in my eyes. My experience of London is very positive and exhilarating. This gorgeously cosmopolitan city that stays vibrant and pulsating 247 made me feel instantly accepted and welcomed.

I digressed too much...

So at the moment my local Happiness Club has been moved to this magical place, where difference, traditions, heritages, habits and life-styles are melting together in one a very interesting dance. I felt a bit out of depth when opening the London’s Happiness Club, but I thought I had absolutely nothing to lose, but a lot to give and share.

It is a different story when you host talks and you don’t know the people who are attending. I knew everyone in my Happiness Club in Jersey, they were my friends and fellow colleagues. When I was hosting the first talk here, I felt super nervous. I thought, what the hell am I doing? I just came here from ‘the middle of the ocean’ and want to talk to strangers about happiness. Would they even listen to me? But, wow! After just a few days my group grew organically into 90 members and is still expanding! I met some incredible and inspiring people, and I am learning from every single one each time I see them.

I digressed again…

My talk today was about experiencing happiness through trying out new things and having direction. When I was preparing for this talk, I had some agenda that I wanted to follow, but what happened during the meeting was something completely opposite to my previously planned schedule…

I have noticed that often when I let my mind flow uncontrollably and do not adhere to the programme, I am coming up with some really remarkable ideas, that also happened this time.

I was telling my attendees to imagine if they were film directors, very good ones, whose movies are always gaining blockbuster status. What would they be like as the directors? Would they be personally choosing their own cast and if yes how? Would they be in charge of all of these things such as: location, budget, script, amendments, all staff, how would they treat their employees? What sort of boss would they be? And finally what sort of movie would they like to make?

The answers were as follows:

They would love to make some great movie with a happy ending; they would be choosing the best actors possible, an amazing location. They would be in charge of the budget and how the story unfolds. They would be a brilliant director and a fantastic boss…

And as we discussed it further, I asked them; How about if Your Life was a movie?

Are you the director, an actor or the camera-man in your own movie? What sort of people are you allowing to be around you (to play all those vital roles in your movie) and how do you treat them? What do you think they say about you behind your back? What is the location and your budget? Are you in charge of the script, or is there someone else who is writing it for you? Is your movie fascinating, educative, a pleasant one, or perhaps is it a thriller or even a horror? How many remakes have you made so far if any? Is your movie a blockbuster, that people are queuing to see it, or are you nearly a bankrupt?

This analogy struck me as I spoke. I felt really emotional myself, as it hit me right in my heart. The realisation was humbly powerful.

I just comprehended it all. I allowed myself for my movie to be a thriller/horror and a drama for far too long, and I had such crappy actors that no one ever wanted to invest in the production! I was accepting other writer’s stories, even though I always knew I could write. I then was allowing greedy producers to be involved in the arrangements of my own movie for many years and that has nearly broken me in half. I allowed myself to be an actress in my own tragi-comedy and react in a way that the crowd expected me to, so I would please them, and although they won't be clapping for too long, they will not whistle either…

Wow, how simple and difficult at the same time to accept the responsibility and understand how it really works…What stayed with me from my morning divagations was the fact that whilst being a director of your own movie, you can change just about anything! The actors, the location and find a new producer. But most importantly you can change the story, the theme, that you are no longer satisfied with or it simply doesn’t make you laugh any more…You are are in charge of The End.

Thanks for reading, if you enjoyed it please tick the 'like' button. I would also really appreciate if you share with me your opinion :)

Agatha x

Agatha Penney

Psychotherapist, Counsellor & Coach, Self-Love Clinic Ltd

Having a philosophical background I keep my mind open to what constantly unfolds around me. I believe that we all came to this world with a purpose and message to deliver. We are here to learn and we are here to teach. No encounter is accidental or useless. Each person crosses paths with us for a reason. Nothing is permanent. We can learn anything at any age. We are the only limit for ourselves. And they are just some of my beliefs…


Go to the profile of Emma Hickey
over 6 years ago
Definitely one of my favourites I have read that you have written - so far :) and beautifully true. I had recently come to a similar realisation (awakening) myself. London is an extraordinary city - enjoy!
Go to the profile of Agatha Penney
over 6 years ago
Emma, I am so grateful for your feedback :-) believe me, this realisation didn't come without pain... x
Go to the profile of Emma Hickey
over 6 years ago
The greatest shift is recognised to come from a place of suffering, not always but I hear you.....ditto. It's all sun- shining now :)) It is what's here 'now' which makes it. You know. Embrace that and thanks for sharing in this community. X Jersey's loss X
Go to the profile of Emma Hickey
over 6 years ago
The greatest shift is recognised to come from a place of suffering, not always but I hear you.....ditto. It's all sun- shining now :)) It is what's here 'now' which makes it. You know. Embrace that and thanks for sharing in this community. X Jersey's loss X
Go to the profile of Agatha Penney
over 6 years ago
Wow, how well said Emma "The greatest shift is recognised to come from a place of suffering" ... this is called existence ;-) X
Go to the profile of Joanna Trjanska
over 6 years ago
I have just seen this link on Natalia's FB :) Beautiful and inspiring words. I am so happy for you and want to say: well done for the courage to chase your happiness! I will keep my fingers crossed for you. I am sure it was not easy for you to start a new life and to think 'outside the box' but from what you write here, it was worth it :) We are so busy with making a living that we forget to make a life. I hope more people will realise that. GO GIRL! xx
Go to the profile of Agatha Penney
over 6 years ago
Ah Joanna! thank you so much for your encouragement and virtual support! I really appreciate that you have taken the time to write this for me. Thank you xx
Go to the profile of Diana Kleine
almost 4 years ago
Go to the profile of Jane Kirk
over 3 years ago

Well, I have just copied two quotes from your amazing story into my notebook (yes, a real book, the paper kind). From Carl Jung, a natural inspiration to me and the other from Joanna!

I am still finding the happiness I lost, so glad the world has the go getters, dreamers and fellow frenetics to give hope and inspiration to others.

One foot in front of the other....with a hop, skip and a jump xx

Go to the profile of Agatha Penney
over 3 years ago

Thank you for your feedback Jane! I haven't visited this page for a while and you just kindly reminded me how I enjoyed the blogging for psychology, I need to reconnect with my written world :-)

Life takes us away from many things and unfolds new paths we have always dreamt about but didn't imagine were possible...

Keep looking inside as we hold all the beauty and inspiration within xx