A Letter To My 20 Year Old Self

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Recently inspired by a member of the Life Leap club I decided to write a letter to my 20 year old self. The idea seemed so fascinating and I couldn't wait to get started, searching for my notebook with so many ideas already in mind I was eager to get them onto paper. At first I wasn't too sure where to begin with it all and felt unsure as to what kind of things I should say, I soon realised I had started to overthink the situation instead of just letting my ideas and words flow freely. So, I began to write, and once I started I was eagerly scribbling down paragraph after paragraph filled with advice, guidance, love and compassion. Compassion- so much of it! I felt this so strongly whilst writing that it surprised me and gave me the warmest and comforting of feelings. 

I wanted to share my letter with you and encourage you to write your own as I feel it was a completely calming and fulfilling experience:

"Stop worrying so much about what you look like and let go of the competition you feel, it will only make you feel empty and never good enough. When you do feel like you've won the competition it will only make you feel even worse about yourself. There is no competition other than the one you have created in your head.

Don't compare yourself to the people currently around you, you are all completely different and unique in your own ways. Comparison will steal any happiness you feel. Don't copy other people's traits when you know they don't feel true to you. You know it's not who you are, even though I know you don't know who you are right now - be patient, that one is going to take a while.

Be aware of toxic friendships, you know the ones I mean, they will end badly but don't waste so much time ruminating over them once they are gone. You won't understand the betrayals and possibly never will but it's not worth trying to figure out. Try to accept, feel, forgive and forget.

Listen to mum. I mean it, really listen to her because all the advice she is giving you is the advice you will be living by in years to come. Trust me, she knows what she is talking about, she's onto something! Spend more time on her daily phone calls, yes you think they are unnecessary but she misses you and deserves more of your time.

Spend more time thinking and planning ahead, currently life is party after party but once that all ends, adjusting back to real life will be tough. There's still time but don't waste too much of it - plan at least a little. 

Cancel your fashion magazine subscription, you're wasting money on something you aren't even interested in just because you feel like you should be.

You often wonder if you will ever experience real heartbreak, the answer is yes, but not for a while. The few diluted experiences you've had of it so far are nothing but sad endings of lust - don't feel like you should make them into something they're not. Don't fear the real heartbreak that lies ahead, as it turns your world upside down a new world presents itself and you finally start to learn who you really are. Everything changes for the better at this point.

Learn more about what happiness is, in a few years you will start a pointless journey trying to get to "Happy" as if it's a destination. Start learning now that it's not a place to get to but more a fleeting feeling that we experience from time to time. Happiness will come when you stop searching for it.

Speak to your sister more and really listen to her. Find out what's happening in her life and talk to her about yours. Start building that bond now, as it's only later on you'll realise how important this is to you.

Don't worry too much about making right or wrong decisions, you get too caught up in trying to make the right decision that you end up not making any decisions at all. Know that so far, you've got no regrets in life so stop being so afraid of regret.

Life is going to surprise you, shock you, excite and confuse you. Enjoy every single moment of it and savour all the good times you are currently having. Be grateful and stop often to appreciate everything in your life.

P.S Stop eating so many pizzas and chicken burgers.

P.P.S Step away from the bottle of black hair dye.

Alison Hammond

🌿 Natural Beauty, Food, Wellbeing & Lifestyle 🍎 Qualified Nutrition Advisor 🙏🏻 Psychologies Ambassador

Ambassador at Psychologies Magazine | Endo Warrior | Anxiety Battler | Nutrition Advisor | Health conscious lover of food, beauty, wellbeing and a healthy lifestyle.


Go to the profile of Claire grant
over 3 years ago

Wouldn't it be lovely if this were a real possibility. 

Go to the profile of Alison Hammond
over 3 years ago

It really would :)