When chosen to become an Ambassador for the Psychologies Magazine, I felt pride, even overwhelmed. It took a while for my feet to land back on planet earth. When they did, I wondered, what will I write about? I am not a Doctor, nor a Therapist, I am one Writer sharing her progress on a blog, self-publishing eBooks.
Psychologies! Well, it is Psychologies isn’t it? A magazine that focuses on equality, calming and relaxed methods of practice, a magazine that asks the reader to ask questions and help themselves. How could I contribute? I only know about Creative Writing.
I had been writing in solitary for two years, before spying the 2017 copies of the magazine, and although I had studied Social Sciences and Psychology back in 2004, I became pregnant a year later, and failed the psychology module exam. The fact that I had been scoring highly in coursework didn’t help. The failure of the exam and the fact that my brain appeared to dissolve into mush once I became a mother to a new-born, led me away from the subject Psychologies. Or so I thought?
You see, I may have failed the exam because the timing wasn’t right, but the knowledge never went away. I began to question whether I was suited to an academic life and threw myself into being a professional mother. My partner worked overseas forty percent of the year, and life had to adapt to suit the environment I was in. It’s a survival technique that we all have, adaptation, animals especially.
It was in 2009 as one child became two and they started to grow, they became eligible for nursery. I found the time to do something for me, and I argued with myself “Don’t go back to what you did before, and psychology isn’t the subject for you. You wanted to be a Writer once. Why not give that a go?”
I have friends who are teachers, and with understanding my partner didn’t see any value in being a Writer from his own perspective, so somehow, I decided to study English Literature with Creative Writing at the local University, with the aim and intention to teach.
In truth, I loved learning, I re-embraced being taught and researching new subjects, my days became fuzzy, interlaced with parenting and being a mature student. I wanted to give 100% to everything I did, but I could sense something was wrong.
With slight exaggeration the more I focused on my studies, the more my children cried; the less my children cried, the more my studies struggled. Finding a balance was almost impossible. I defaulted back to methods of practice I had learned whilst studying psychologies with the Open University and chose to use the same discipline with the Degree. Even though I had no accreditation in the subject of psychology, I was able to use methods of practice to help me, and I realised that Psychologies may be a subject in academia, but if we choose to take knowledge on board and integrate it into real life matters, then we can adapt the skills we learn through practice in so many ways, to survive in life today in this busy world of politics, prejudice and business economics, and succeed.
So, what has all of that got to do with the No Limits work sheets?
I’d been working on my plans and goals in my quest as a Writer and Author a long while before the welcome support of the Psychologies Life Leap Team, but just because I was on it, alone, didn’t mean I didn’t need a little help. Being a Writer going it alone, can be lonely.
This time last year, I had placed on my vision board, “Make your own Magic”, and with the inspiration of many articles by women and men, I did, and I have. I had set out in 2015 to have a try at self-publishing, to play with my own writing style, and find my niche?
I was going to be a teacher, but that was what everyone else wanted me to do.
Me. I want to be a fully functional writer of books, from non-fiction to poetry to fantasy-fiction, for readers of all ages. I am not categorising myself, others can do that for me. When I am in control of my future, there are No Limits. I had considered a PhD in 2014, it was rejected, my idea was too broad. But in the failure, I saw an opportunity to explore my own niche, nothing was off-limits.
This year I choose to participate in the Life Leap with Psychologies Magazine for 2018, the mission for my own self-improvement began back in 2015, probably 2009, I could keep going backwards, but I won’t because this isn’t a memoir, it is a progress report.
I identified in January 2018:
Sometimes I play it too safe and do as I should rather than as I want.
Sometimes I forget that the world prefers the Professional, rein it in, de-personalise.
I give because I want to.
Being humble and lacking in confidence, doesn’t earn you a living.
In the wake of this new knowledge, I realise that all of the above are subject to change as long as I continue to focus: I promised myself I would deliver on 4 dimensions of Writing Works by May 2018. After that, I would surely have defined a specific niche? I will let you know.
Now, in February I am learning all about the inner critic and you know, as long as there isn’t an exam at the end of it, or even if there is, I am sure I will survive.