According to pornography websites, "porn for women" searches are going through the roof. The most popular searches include "daddy." Erica Garza, writes about this in her candid memoir, "Getting Off" about "porn and sex addiction." She writes explicitly about how would follow up sex with a stranger, by masturbating to step-dad pornography. It seems from the data collected by websites, she is not alone.
Clearly, this a hidden, solo activity. It is the shadow zone, the secret, the area that therapists are tuned into. Patients often share private and personal difficulties with their therapists, especially areas which may feel shameful or difficult to share with others. Patients may also chose to keep them hidden from their therapists. There is no right or wrong about what you share with you therapist. It is certainly not the therapists place to tell you what you should or shouldn't do in terms of sexual pleasure or preference. However, therapy can give you space to ponder on the meaning of your fantasy. Why that particular fantasy, and what is it about? Is it enlivening, or deadening? How does it fit in with the rest of your life? Is it a stand-in for real relationships, an alternative to them, or an enhancement of them?
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