Living Fearlessly

What will your new year hold?

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In the last days of December and the start of January 2017, on a long car journey back from Cornwall and Devon to the Midlands I had a conversation which changed my life. I made the decision to leave my job.

The important part of that conversation is that when I got home I sat with a large sheet of paper and I wrote it down. This single act of committing to paper and sharing our decisions, particularly those that come with clarity and perspective, is the key to following through on goals.

I took a leap into the unknown, leaving a job, with no job to go to. I was told by so many ‘How brave!’ and ‘Wow!’. I can recall the sympathetic glances, or looks of envy. I found myself in my early 40s out of work - how few of us really get that chance to halt our working life and step briefly off the speeding merry-go-round of activity, by choice? 

In the weeks that followed I felt a sense of space, a profound slowing down, a shift toward greater presence in my own life, more time for conversation, and for connection. To simply notice others and to respond from a space of grace and compassion. Those 7 joy-filled weeks of not working were the greatest gift.

That long car conversation in the liminal space between Christmas festivities and the new year was borne out of a keen sense of my own life rushing away from me, a need to draw in, reflect and to direct the year ahead.

I know I’m not alone in this, we are each of us buffeted by competing demands - the very modern disease of busy-ness.

The decision to leave my permanent full-time job had been growing in me for some time. In February 2014 I spent the last few days of my father’s life with him in hospital. I made a commitment to being present with him.

His last 48 hours were the longest of my life, every act became imbued with meaning, each breath precious, each moment an opportunity to say thank you. In a semi-private room on the edge of a busy ward, we created a sacred space, filled with song, prayer and poetry as all the family gathered round him. 

The force of love makes us fearless. In those last days I knew we had to ensure his wishes, his comfort, his peace, in simple acts, to honour him.

The bravery to unclip the thin, plastic curtain from around the small cubicle of his bed and pull back the hospital blinds to reveal the frail rays of February sunshine, so on the very last morning of Dad’s life he could feel the warmth of the sun on his face.

The fearlessness to sit with him, holding his hand, and face my own fear of death.

And as I sat with my mum in the early hours of the morning moments after Dad’s death, I had the powerful sense that each moment of his life had, in some inexorable way, lead to this very moment.

That each of us is on a path leading us to our own ‘moment’ - the potency of this realisation, the raw beauty of being in this place, stayed with me as I returned to work the following week. Observing, detached, the busy-ness and speed of working life, the commuting back and forth, the thousands of unread emails in my inbox.

And it was these moments that left me with a need to choose the direction of my own life, to feel a sense of ownership, to choose and not simply to be directed by the competing demands of earning a living.

And so, as I sit again one year on in the twilight of 2017, I feel a sense of quiet joy!

That I can be, and that I can choose to Live Fearlessly.

Cara Wheatley-McGrain

Coach| Speaker | Author | Psychologies Ambassador, The Mindful Gut UK

Cara Wheatley-McGrain is a coach, speaker, and #HayHouse author. 

Cara is a compassion and mindset coach who offers group coaching, workshops, and talks to inspire you to learn to love and listen to your gut.

Her work explores the connection between good gut health and mental health.

Her current project is to raise awareness of gut health in perimenopause and menopause. 

Her book: 'Calm Your  Gut' is available now:


Go to the profile of Maureen Bowes
about 4 years ago

What a precious and uplifting perspective, Cara. Thank you. I love how you're translating this into your everyday life.

Go to the profile of David McGrain
about 4 years ago

Thank you for opening up your innermost thoughts so beautifully Cara. Hope to hear more from you soon. Inspiring stuff!

Go to the profile of Alaine shaw
about 4 years ago

I enjoyed reading Cara’s blog, it was a very accessible and insightful read. The words you wrote about your father at the end of his life was written with humility and sensitivity. I hope you (Cara) will continue sharing your experiences and reflections on life with others through the written word.  Thanks 

Go to the profile of Bali Singh
about 4 years ago

A very inspiring and heartfelt perspective, something everyone can resonate with.. Losing a parent at any age is difficult,  talking about the experience is even more difficult, how eloquently you’ve shared your innermost thoughts with your readers, it brought a tear to my eye, your father would be so very proud of you Cara 

Go to the profile of Catherine  Brannan
about 4 years ago

feeling inspired by your actions, taking Life by the horns and steering it in your own direction.  Thanks for sharing. Cath

Go to the profile of Carol Powell
about 4 years ago

Amazing. I love this. xxx

Go to the profile of Tessa Douglas
about 4 years ago

Such an uplifting and inspiring article Cara. Incredibly poignant and beautifully written. Thank you for sharing and look forward to hearing more from you.