Plenty more fish in the sea? Bringing optimism back into your dating!
There is an epidemic of women who are reaching that age and haven’t found someone to start a family with. This is the generation who decided to get degrees, travel, work overseas, gain life experience and have lovers, knowing all along that ‘one day’ they would settle down. Not wanting to have regret over not having lived before becoming a mum, they lived life to the full to be able to share more of themselves as a fuller person and a mother. There was an abundance of boys and first loves were thrilling. Then suddenly all those available guys were married off.
The realisation that everything has a time scale seems to hit around the age of thirty-eight and panic sets in. You begin online dating, speed dating and freak-out flinging as the fear of ‘what happens if I never meet the right guy’ sets in.
You can freeze your eggs if you really are panicking; this will help reduce the panic. But what really needs to happen is to bring back that girl in her twenties who believed everything was limitless, had a spark in her eye and lived life to the full. That girl is still inside, and even though the number of single guys is fewer, you stand a better chance of meeting someone with an open heart.
By our late thirties we may have been hurt a number of times.
The heart gets shut down and we start playing love safely instead. No one works well under exam conditions and so on a date we can’t get a clear vibe of a person.
The way to open the heart is through curiosity. Let go of the desired outcome and become curious about who this person is. Then let attraction step in and feel the chemistry before looking into the future. Be in the ‘right now’. What shuts us down is treating men like they are an object to get what we want. We lose the romance that way and believe it or not, men are highly intuitive about women! Even a man who wants to start a family, wants to start that family being in love and being loved. It’s such a simple thing to forget, that love makes families and without love, no family can truly thrive.