The 7 habits of very happy people

Happiness is a choice. Self love, support and care are essential not add-ons or afterthoughts. As Socrates said 'the unexamined life is not worth living.'

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When you examine your life, are you happy with what you see...with what you feel?

Do you wake up in the morning 'knowing' something is missing? Do you know you need to take action but are not sure just where to start?

Recent research on happiness shows that three quarters of people in European countries are not satisfied with their work/life balance with too much work and not enough 'life.'

If you want to reclaim more 'life' and more happiness, try adopting the habits ofpeople who have done just that and felt the positive benefit.

#1 Begin by being honest.

Be honest with yourself and be honest about your life. This is the starting point. When you take a step back and view your life, what's working and what needs changing? Perhaps you need to be really honest about the person you want to become and the life you want to lead.

If you don't have a clear idea about who you want to be, who will? Are you living your own authentic life or somebody else's?

#2. Prioritise your own happiness.

You matter and you have needs. Ask yourself this question, 'if I could have anything in life and had all the time, resources and energy, exactly what would it take to make me happy?'

Remember what the air steward says before the flight takes off, 'If the oxygen mask should come down during the flight, please place it on yourself before trying to help others.'

#3. Be real.

You are unique. Enjoy that uniqueness. What's the point in trying to be somebody else?

Sometimes we project a 'false self' to the world, that part of ourselves we feel is acceptable. But sometimes the inside of the mask can look very different from the outside. The greater the difference, the more you have to pretend to be somebody else, the less happy you are likely to be.

Living an authentic life often means being brave, connecting your own thoughts and feelings and being honest with those around you.

#4. Notice the Power of now.

Right here, right now is the present. The present is a gift that you experience in your own unique way.

You can live your life or relive your life but you can't do both at the same time. Perhaps it's time to stop dwelling on the past and the things you did or did not do. Perhaps you simply need to take more time to appreciate the here and now.

Accept there are no mistakes, only feedback. It's okay to get it wrong, you learn by your mistakes. Treat them as steppingstones on your journey. It's okay to take risks, trip up every once in a while and then have to get up and do it all over again.

When you get to the edge of your comfort zone, that is when you are learning and growing. And sometimes we have to get it wrong many times before we eventually get it right.

Think of when you first started to learn to drive. That first time you tried to negotiate the accelerator ,break, clutch and steering wheel. If you'd given up every time you got it wrong, you would never have learnt to drive. We all need to be able to tolerate that kind of anxiety.

It's absolutely okay to get it wrong, but it's not okay if you don't learn something from those mistakes and do it differently next time.

#5. Be your own best friend.

Tune into some of the things you're saying to yourself, some of those negative defeating judgements.

If you had a friend who talked to like that, would you want to be their friend? Treat yourself as you would treat your friends, with love and respect, consideration and kindness.

Try this affirmation 'Even though I am imperfect, I value and respect myself in every way. I am doing my best with what I have.'

#6. Notice the positives.

Many believe the key to happiness is not about having what you want but wanting what you have.

Get into the habit of acknowledging the positives.

When you go to bed at night, do you beat yourself up for all the things that went wrong in the day?

#7. Choose happiness.

Perhaps it's time to take responsibility for creating your own happiness and well-being.

Nobody can make you miserable without your permission. Blaming your lack of happiness on others is really not the answer.

Choose happiness. Choose to smile simply because you can. If you choose to focus on happy moments, take the time to savour them, you will be storing up positive memories in your memory bank.

You recharge your own batteries. What you focus on is what you get so why not simply focus on and choose happiness and well-being?

Frances A Masters

Psychotherapist, Coach, Writer. Live your best life.

Do you want to be happier and more resilient? Some people seem to just 'bounce back' no matter what life throws at them. We can't choose many of life's events but we certainly do have a choice about how we respond. My passion for mental health began 25 years ago when I suffered postnatal depression and realised the help I needed simply wasn't there. The pills didn't work. In fact they made things worse. What I really needed was to understand how anxiety, depression and emotional ill health can develop. I needed to learn good 'mind management' skills which would act like a 'psychological inoculation' against future problems. When I recovered, I made a decision to find out how and why I had become so depressed and made a personal pledge to do something to provide the kind of help for others which I had needed. I wanted to prevent people suffering unnecessarily. So I embarked on a personal and professional journey and, along the way, developed a brand new approach to health and well-being. My journey began with four years of traditional counselling training, followed by a postgraduate diploma in psychotherapy. I studied cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) neuro-linguistic programming (NLP), hypnotherapy, coaching and cognitive neuroscience. I built up 30,000 hours professional experience which I brought together into the new happiness and resilience programme l named 'Fusion.' I also wrote a book about how to resolve post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), founded a therapeutic coaching charity and trained volunteers to work in this new way. This training programme would later become the nationally accredited Fusion Therapeutic Coaching Diploma and Distance Learning Skills Certificate. Now... The journey continues. Now I want to reveal all my professional secrets about good mind management to as many people as possible through social media and by training Fusion Breakthrough trainers from all over the world. One of them could be you... Something new.. Something different.. Something which lasts.. What if you could experience one day which could actually change your life for good; giving you your own eureka moment; not only helping you create a vision of the life you want to live, but actually give you the real skills to get there and stay there? Fusion is a tried and tested system which combines the best of psychotherapy and coaching into a powerful new formula for lasting change. My aim is to help and empower as many people as possible to feel their best, be their best and live their best lives. Perhaps I could help you too....