A powerful way to change your story and change your life.

Do you wish you had more confidence and self esteem? Are you successful on the outside, but harbouring a scary feeling that one day someone will find out you're not as good as you seem to be? Perhaps you need to change the story you are telling yourself about who you really are?

Go to the profile of Frances A Masters
Jun 16, 2015
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Stories

As a psychotherapist and coach I tell stories all the time. We all do.

Our inner world is made up of the stories we have heard all our lives. Since man could speak, we have tried to communicate our experiences to one another, relaying tips and tools and wisdom about how to live and how to survive.

For us, it begins in childhood with fables and fairytales and family anecdotes.

Through these stories, we come to 'understand' our family, our culture, our society, its rules and morals. From our parents, we begin to form a picture of who we are and what is expected of us. The baby looks into its mother's eyes and tries to locate itself in the world, creating the beginnings of an identity or self image.

Our role in the family drama

What role was allotted to you in your family drama?

Family life can feel like a soap opera. Truth is often stranger than the fiction you see on Eastenders or Coronation Street. The story of your family and your place within it, can result in labels and stereotypes which begin to restrict and confine you in many unhelpful ways.

Were you the 'good girl' the 'naughty boy', the 'joker', or the 'weirdo?'

The patterns of relating we develop in the family often become the template for how we live our life and relate to others, and we often unconsciously repeat these patterns in the other groups such as friendship and workgroups.

If your 'template' works for you, that's fine. It probably means you experienced plenty of unconditional love as a child and had the freedom and support to grow and flourish and develop a positive self image.

If not, you might want to change your story about the person you really are. As Irish author J H Brennan said 'You grow up, but your self image doesn't!'

Let go of the labels

The most powerful stories are the ones we continue to tell ourselves.

Think carefully about the 'labels' hung on you by others and think carefully about the ones you continue to hang on yourself. The chances are they are false and they are affecting your life every single day.

By identifying your labels, you bring them into your awareness. You begin to have power over them.

And once you've identified them, it becomes easier to just let them go.

Try this exercise

  • Write down all the labels which have been hung on you by others, perhaps by parents, teachers, friends, enemies, colleagues or others.
  • How many of these are unhelpful, hurtful or self limiting? How many of these would you like to let go of?
  • Transfer them onto post-it notes.
  • Now stick them onto a photo of yourself, or a picture which represents you.
  • Make a decision which ones need to go and remove them. Destroy them or throw them in a bin. You don't need them anymore.
  • Now write out the labels you want, the ones which say something about the person you really are and the person you want to be.
  • Keep this picture somewhere you can see it every day.

Perhaps it's time to take responsibility for your own happiness and self esteem and time to mature into your true identity?

It's your life and your drama.

You are the scriptwriter and the pen is in your hand. What story do you want to tell about who you are and who you will become?

And remember, if your story has not got a happy ending, then it's not the ending...

yet.




Go to the profile of Frances A Masters

Frances A Masters

Psychotherapist, Coach, Writer. Live your best life.

Do you want to be happier and more resilient? Some people seem to just 'bounce back' no matter what life throws at them. We can't choose many of life's events but we certainly do have a choice about how we respond. My passion for mental health began 25 years ago when I suffered postnatal depression and realised the help I needed simply wasn't there. The pills didn't work. In fact they made things worse. What I really needed was to understand how anxiety, depression and emotional ill health can develop. I needed to learn good 'mind management' skills which would act like a 'psychological inoculation' against future problems. When I recovered, I made a decision to find out how and why I had become so depressed and made a personal pledge to do something to provide the kind of help for others which I had needed. I wanted to prevent people suffering unnecessarily. So I embarked on a personal and professional journey and, along the way, developed a brand new approach to health and well-being. My journey began with four years of traditional counselling training, followed by a postgraduate diploma in psychotherapy. I studied cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) neuro-linguistic programming (NLP), hypnotherapy, coaching and cognitive neuroscience. I built up 30,000 hours professional experience which I brought together into the new happiness and resilience programme l named 'Fusion.' I also wrote a book about how to resolve post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), founded a therapeutic coaching charity and trained volunteers to work in this new way. This training programme would later become the nationally accredited Fusion Therapeutic Coaching Diploma and Distance Learning Skills Certificate. Now... The journey continues. Now I want to reveal all my professional secrets about good mind management to as many people as possible through social media and by training Fusion Breakthrough trainers from all over the world. One of them could be you... Something new.. Something different.. Something which lasts.. What if you could experience one day which could actually change your life for good; giving you your own eureka moment; not only helping you create a vision of the life you want to live, but actually give you the real skills to get there and stay there? Fusion is a tried and tested system which combines the best of psychotherapy and coaching into a powerful new formula for lasting change. My aim is to help and empower as many people as possible to feel their best, be their best and live their best lives. Perhaps I could help you too....

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