Looking For Love Part 2

Some favourite tips on ways to build self love using practical application in our everyday lives.

Go to the profile of Jackee Holder
Jun 09, 2015

In part 2 of Looking For Love I wanted to share some final thoughts on how to practically be self-loving. I mean not just a self-love that is intellectualised in our head but is put into practice in the way we speak to and treat ourselves.

Self-love is not a passive feeling but can be built and strengthened over time through compassionate and aware action.

However it does take discipline and regularity, determination, sensitivity, care and patience. Self-love is not a quick fix but a lifetime assignment that must be constantly tended to.

Here are five of my favourite tips for practical application.

5 top tips for that self-love vibe

·In the same way you celebrate birthdays and special occasions diarise a day every three to six months that’s all about you? Name this day after you. So my day is a ‘Jackee day.’

·Write yourself the kind of love letter you'd love to receive. After a while what you write will start to rub off on you. Tuck the letter into a journal or notebook, somewhere you know you’ll come across it at a later stage.

·Forgive, forgive and forgive some more. Forgive others and most importantly forgive, forgive yourself. Do this as often and as many times as you can. Self-love thrives on forgiveness of self and others.

·Be your own flower giver. How about treating yourself to a bunch of pink peonies over the next seven days? They’re in season right now and are the Chinese flower of love. Thanks to my friend Rebecca Campbell for her suggestion in this blog post

·Did you know that your greatest strengths lie close by your greatest flaws? Can you name how you’ve grown stronger at those broken places in your life? Everyone has them. Write down the strengths that have emerged from the broken places. Get the list out whenever you need reminding.

I leave you with the words from the poet and mystic Rumi. His words are a meditation on looking for love.

“You wander from place to place. You hunt for a necklace of diamonds. It is already around your neck.”

Go to the profile of Jackee Holder

Jackee Holder

Professional & Personal Coach, Author, Speaker & Journal Coach, Life Is A Work In Progress!

Jackee is passionate about writing and journaling and has filled the pages of over one hundred journals. Jackee holds a Masters degree in creative writing and personal development from Sussex University and is the author of four books, 49 Ways To Write Yourself Well, Be Your Own Best Life Coach, The Journal Journey Guidebook and Soul Purpose along with numerous workbooks, e-books, free journaling products and articles for a range of journals and magazines. Over the last ten years Jackee has coached and supported professional women, writers, creative artists, entrepreneurs and executives both on and off the page through workshops, retreats, one on one coaching, coach training and her online journal writing course, Paper Therapy http://www.jackeeholder.com/events/paper-therapy-online-journal-writing-course-2/ I journal regularly, really enjoy podcasts interviews around journaling and expressive writing, along with writing blogs and articles on writing/journaling, reflective writing, mindfulness, time to think, mental health, personal growth and self-development. I am an early morning walker and love the early mornings when most of the rest of the world is asleep. I have a real interest in trees and tree mythology and love the way trees beautify our environment. You can find Jackee here: http://www.jackeeholder.com Twitter: @jackeeholder


Go to the profile of Suzy Walker
Suzy Walker almost 4 years ago

Thank you Jackee. I love this. I loved reading about a lady recently who had a wedding ceremony and then married herself - with vows of commitment and everything. x

Go to the profile of Jackee Holder
Jackee Holder almost 4 years ago

Suzy thanks for your comments and glad the piece resonated with you. I have a whole ritual on a self marriage ceremony in my first book Soul Purpose which is about to be bought back into print. Over the years many women have told me how much this ritual/ceremony has resonated with them and many have shared performing the ceremony by the sea. Self marriage is the ultimate self love act. I feel another coming on real soon. My fifties have been turbulent on so many levels so these practices are timeless and ongoing.