Looking For Love Part 2

Some favourite tips on ways to build self love using practical application in our everyday lives.

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In part 2 of Looking For Love I wanted to share some final thoughts on how to practically be self-loving. I mean not just a self-love that is intellectualised in our head but is put into practice in the way we speak to and treat ourselves.

Self-love is not a passive feeling but can be built and strengthened over time through compassionate and aware action.

However it does take discipline and regularity, determination, sensitivity, care and patience. Self-love is not a quick fix but a lifetime assignment that must be constantly tended to.

Here are five of my favourite tips for practical application.

5 top tips for that self-love vibe

·In the same way you celebrate birthdays and special occasions diarise a day every three to six months that’s all about you? Name this day after you. So my day is a ‘Jackee day.’

·Write yourself the kind of love letter you'd love to receive. After a while what you write will start to rub off on you. Tuck the letter into a journal or notebook, somewhere you know you’ll come across it at a later stage.

·Forgive, forgive and forgive some more. Forgive others and most importantly forgive, forgive yourself. Do this as often and as many times as you can. Self-love thrives on forgiveness of self and others.

·Be your own flower giver. How about treating yourself to a bunch of pink peonies over the next seven days? They’re in season right now and are the Chinese flower of love. Thanks to my friend Rebecca Campbell for her suggestion in this blog post

·Did you know that your greatest strengths lie close by your greatest flaws? Can you name how you’ve grown stronger at those broken places in your life? Everyone has them. Write down the strengths that have emerged from the broken places. Get the list out whenever you need reminding.

I leave you with the words from the poet and mystic Rumi. His words are a meditation on looking for love.

“You wander from place to place. You hunt for a necklace of diamonds. It is already around your neck.”

Jackee Holder

Professional & Personal Coach, Author, Speaker & Journal Coach, Life Is A Work In Progress!

I am energised and come alive when I am writing and journaling and over the years I have filled the pages of over one hundred journals. I am a bookaholic and see writers of all genres as part of my natural tribe. I am qualified in many areas of personal development and well-being including a Masters degree in creative writing and personal development from Sussex University and in the completion stages of training as a psychosynthesis counsellor. But by far life and it many bumps, bruises and triumphs continues to be my greatest teacher. Life has been a series of adventures and challenges but creativity has remained a mainstream force of my life. This means that over a period of twenty years I have authored four published books, 49 Ways To Write Yourself Well, Be Your Own Best Life Coach, The Journal Journey Guidebook and Soul Purpose along with numerous workbooks, e-books, free journaling products and articles for a range of journals and magazines. I have recently launched The Inner and Outer Nature Self Discovery deck of cards which brings together my love of journaling and nature. In my professional vocation I work as a corporate coach, coach supervisor and leadership facilitator. I love what I do, no two days are the same and I love how I can bring so much of what brings me alive into this work. I care about our environment and have a deep reverance for trees and nature. I hold nature and journaling as my go to sources of well being and write regularly around the therapeutic benefits of forest bathing, connecting with nature and journaling. Twice a year I open the doors to my online well being journaling class, Paper Therapy. Over five weeks you are immersed in a world of journaling prompts and exercises that empower you to creatively and mindfully grow a daily or weekly journaling practice. You will learn about the therapeutic benefits of journaling and how journaling can help you thrive even when you are challenged and stretched. Paper Therapy http://www.jackeeholder.com/events/paper-therapy-online-journal-writing-course/ I journal regularly, love listening to an eclectic range of podcasts interviews which challenge me to think outside the box. I am an early morning urban city walker and love the quiet hum of the mornings when most of the rest of the world is asleep. I have a real curiosity about trees and tree mythology and love the way trees beautify our and resource the environment. London is my home and for now I feel so lucky to live in the city with the most green parks and spaces in the world. You can find Jackee here: http://www.jackeeholder.com Follow me on my urban walkabouts at Instagram:@jackeeholderinspires @girlabouttown Twitter: @jackeeholder


Go to the profile of Suzy Walker
over 6 years ago
Thank you Jackee. I love this. I loved reading about a lady recently who had a wedding ceremony and then married herself - with vows of commitment and everything. x
Go to the profile of Jackee Holder
over 6 years ago
Suzy thanks for your comments and glad the piece resonated with you. I have a whole ritual on a self marriage ceremony in my first book Soul Purpose which is about to be bought back into print. Over the years many women have told me how much this ritual/ceremony has resonated with them and many have shared performing the ceremony by the sea. Self marriage is the ultimate self love act. I feel another coming on real soon. My fifties have been turbulent on so many levels so these practices are timeless and ongoing.