Having good friends boosts our physical and mental health. It gives us a sense of belonging and connection. Our basic human need to 'relate' is met.

Good friendships mean having a deeper emotional connection with someone you can be honest with, and who you can trust not to betray your shared secrets. Someone to offer sensible advice when you're too emotional to find a clear path yourself. Someone to be playful and child-like with. Someone who 'holds you in mind' even when their life gets too busy to meet with you in person.

Being able to 'pick up where you left off' with a good friend is so reassuring. No effort is required by either of you.

We do need to be clear about what a friendship really means to us, and what we get out of it, as well as what we're willing to put into it.

Have you chosen your friends, or have you slipped into passively accepting friendships because they served the other person more than you?

Is there a healthy balance of give and take between you and your friends?

You can now decide who you want to keep around, and who you may have outgrown. Who enhances your life and who drains your vitality?

Research suggests that we can only keep up with 5-7 good quality friendships anyway, even though we can belong to a 'tribe' of around 150 people.

There are lots of online ways to make connections with people, but real friendships require us to be physically close enough to have eye contact, and to share our energy, heart and humour.

I moved to my present city not knowing anyone five years ago, and now have several good friends whom I didn't know existed before!

I've met them from either 'Meetup' groups (www.meetup.com) or from business networking groups.

I made the time and created the space for them and they did the same for me... it starts with you taking the first step.

Maxine Harley (MSc Psychotherapy) MIND HEALER & MENTOR

www.maxineharley.com

www.maxineharleymentoring.com

www.the-ripple-effect.co.uk

www.qpp.uk.com