Relating amongst the Jersey Clubbers and stuff :-)

The second key on the route to happiness is to RELATE; with our loved ones we take it for granted, often without even noticing the feelings we encounter, with strangers we tend to forget about the lovely trait that openness offers...

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The theme for our second gathering was ‘RELATE’ and indeed we had focused on the many impressions and avenues of relating. The first paraphrase that came to my mind was connecting, and this is the dominant factor behind setting up the Happiness Club in Jersey. Instantly I felt that the only way forward to bring about greater potential of happiness around us and within our community is to connect and combine the powers with those, who are already happy or on the way to be.

I was definitely on the way to be. I would be a hypocrite if I had told you that I was in an amazing place and I just wanted to spread the happiness around…I was not, I was actually in a quite dark, grey area for some time already and was looking everywhere for solutions and entries to leave the horrible darkness behind. As a naturally positive person, I tried to think from the perspective of ‘someone’s happy’ box, definitely outside of ‘my box’, which at that time was not a very pleasing and cosy place. Even though I didn’t want to, I was constantly forcing myself to connect, connect, connect. Everywhere and with anyone, I was trying to find something positive in each encounter of my day, find a learning curve in each meeting and each talk, and you know what? I DID!

Everything happens for a reason and this is a beautiful belief. I subscribed for Psychologies probably 7 years ago, and whilst on my last wits with the reality surrounding me, I read about the Happiness Club movement, and that was it. That little article, has given me so much powerful petrol that my then old and devastated vehicle became once again a sports car, with a turbo button! The moment I shared the idea with my friends, I was high as a kite! And I wanted to share this mental intoxication, as soon as possible with as many people as I could!

Hence, I surfed vigorously over the ‘waters’ of online resources, expanding on happiness and her sister sadness, as they need to be closely linked, to be able to exist. I had a good few weeks of contemplating over this subject, lots of cups of coffees and attempts of giving up, before I eventually came to this conclusion.

‘People, who say they are constantly happy, are not real, not authentic, are fraud! They are either on artificially driven happy-pills or just simply crazy. That, straight away made me feel so normal, as like and sane. However I was far from criticising the beauty of this temporary ‘mind plaster’ in the form of antidepressants or similar mind altering substances. I’ve been there, I’ve done it and I was the one left to deal with it, and I did and I managed to free myself from the enslaving effects of such panacea. As far as I would be able to wilfully make a choice, I will stay away from it. Anyway, I digressed too much…

During our second gathering we cumulated so much love, warmth, validation that when we shared it all with a walnut cake and double chocolate cookies we were like Chihuahuas on acid! The happiness was pouring out of us in a solid dose of positive insanity, we were literally having laughter therapy and didn’t even realise where the last four hours had gone. This second gathering was really special, we all became so much more aware of the simple facts that connecting brings to our lives and that we take it for granted. To discuss the second key of ‘relating’ was an amazing epiphany to our grey cells and discovery of the prodigious alertness had changed something for the past 4 hours, at least for some.

Happiness is a subjective and very biased state of mind that derives from different sources depending on an individual. But when the greatest sadness creeps around us, we should expect the greatest happiness to follow… so watch out for the rainy days.

Thank you for reading

Agatha x

The second key on the route to happiness is to RELATE; with our loved ones we take it for granted, often without even noticing the feelings we encounter, with strangers we tend to forget of the lovely trait that openness offers...

Agatha Penney

Psychotherapist, Counsellor & Coach, Self-Love Clinic Ltd

Having a philosophical background I keep my mind open to what constantly unfolds around me. I believe that we all came to this world with a purpose and message to deliver. We are here to learn and we are here to teach. No encounter is accidental or useless. Each person crosses paths with us for a reason. Nothing is permanent. We can learn anything at any age. We are the only limit for ourselves. And they are just some of my beliefs…


Go to the profile of Suzy Walker
over 6 years ago
I loved it when I talked to Vanessa King and she talked about the idea that the happiness club is not about positive thinking but positive psychology. and they are very different things. Positive psychology is the study of how to create a life where you can flourish - and we look at resilience as part of the 10 keys. It's definitely not a fake sticking plaster. and relating key is very important part of this process. When we have can have honest (and constructive) conversations with others, it brings us closer. Nothing makes me feel lonelier than being in a room with people who are not being authentic. That's why I love the Happiness Clubs - it encourages honesty but also to find a way through the darkness - to the other side. It can be a slow process if you're struggling with the big stuff that life can throw at us. But I'm learning that taking gentle baby steps inspired by my Happiness Club 10 keys, I'm starting to create a architecture of happiness habits that is making the day to day a lot brighter and less stressful. Just the one step of letting people in at the traffic has transformed my commute to work. Thank you for your blog! x