Why feeling like ‘you've had enough’ is a breakthrough key to self-love.
Often clients reach out to me at a point of ‘I’ve had enough’. The words ‘I have had enough’ imply that someone has reached the end of their tether, that it’s an end of a line that is negative, a sense of ‘I no longer want to go on’. I have always seen this as a breakthrough point in my clients, but never fully understood the facts and and science behind it, until reading Dr David Hamilton's book 'I Heart Me'.
I’m currently reading Psychologies blogger Dr David Hamilton’s new book ‘I heart me’. I have known David now for quite a few years, ever since interviewing him about his book ‘It’s the thought that counts’ on LBC radio. At the time my co presenter Chris Hawkins was really into embarrassing me on air about good looking men in the studio.
Regardless of cringing at Chris and kicking him under the desk whilst nodding my head at the production office, where all conversations are louder than life and David’s lovely girlfriend Elizabeth was sitting and luckily oblivious to Chris’ wind ups, despite all this it was a lovely interview. I have been fascinated with David’s work ever since.
In his new book ‘I heart me’, David has stuck to his author brand of scientific fact behind his claims but there is a much more emotional and personal tone. Reading it, I defy anyone not to relate to it in some way.
Often clients reach out to me at a point of ‘I’ve had enough’. The words ‘I have had enough’ imply that someone has reached the end of their tether, that it’s an end of a line that is negative, a sense of ‘I no longer want to go on’. I have always seen this as a breakthrough point in my clients, but never fully understood why until reading David’s
book. David explains that the period before ‘I’ve had enough’ is ‘I’m not enough’. I can relate to this in terms of bullying I experienced when I worked in theatre. It was always with women, often these women were my superior so it felt impossible to do anything about it. Often I would try anything to win them over and make them like me. Often this tact made the bullying worse. One day I reached a point where I’d had enough. Nothing changed that day in my behaviour, but I didn’t get any grief from her that day, nor the next day or the next and in fact something had profoundly changed. I didn’t get bullied again.
It took years for me to realise that the repetitive problem being exhibited by the same kind of woman with a different face, was being caused by me.
I was a powerful woman in sheep clothing. They could see my inner wolf and the power behind her, better than I could. They feared it because of their own insecure nature. So they tried to squash me in the sheep costume, which made me more sheepish, which made them squash more, which took me to ‘I’ve had enough’. Costume came off and there was the wolf. The hood came off my boss too and I could see that under the red hood of rage was a little girl lost in the wood.
David Hamilton says the next step up from I have had enough is ‘I am enough’ and this is the breakthrough point I refer to with my clients. I’m not really a wolf, but when you step into your authentic power sometimes you step too far, and the ‘I’ve had enough’ is a growl of defiance. But beyond that the place is ‘I am enough’. Onwards from ‘I am enough’, just the belief changes other peoples actions towards you. It also makes you not only useful to other people, but often inspirational too.
I am enough lets you out of so much of the stress of life. You no longer need to prove yourself. But it doesn’t mean you get lazy and stop trying, more that your creative ideas can come from a joyful place.
So when you have had enough, don’t let it beat you, but see where this can elevate you to the next step up to ‘I am enough.’
David Hamilton will be joining me in Bristol 6th and 7th June on stage at the Alma Tavern theatre and for a one day workshop, details below:
comedy and self-help live on stage! A fast-paced journey from self-conscious to self-confident.
Dr David Hamilton is a scientist and is naturally funny. He brings together smack in the forehead insights, whilst fusing science, the mind, and spiritual wisdom together, live on stage without the aid of a bunsen burner!
Becky Walsh (that's me!) gives demonstrations of intuition by telling audience members things about themselves that seems impossible to know. Blended effortlessly with observational comedy and storytelling.
June 6th 7.45pm £10.00 in advance £15.00 on the door
Alma Tavern and Theatre 18 - 20 Alma Vale Road Bristol BS8 2HY
www.almataverntheatre.co.uk 0117 973 5171
The very next day we are running a workshop: Self-love to Self-awesome - A day of shameless self-realisation
Sunday, 7 June 2015 from 10:00 to 17:00 Radisson Blu Hotel Bristol
Author of ‘I Heart Me’ Dr David Hamilton and author of ‘You Do Know’ Becky Walsh team up to bring you a unique day of self-transformation. In this workshop you will learn practical life tips and be asked some powerful questions to build you a sturdy base of self-belief, enabling you to step into your authentic power.
Your presenters and the day's content:
David Hamilton PhD is a scientist and bestselling author of several books. David will teach you the 3 levels of self-love and how self-love is actually in our genes but is often trained out of us. You will also learn that self-love is as much biology as it is psychology and how you can actually reprogram your brain to essentially ‘wire-in’ a healthy sense of self-love. When you love yourself the world opens up and you get to love others with the full power of your heart.
Becky Walsh is an expert in communication and intuition. She believes we often don’t step into our potential for fear of becoming one of those egotists - whose name starts with W and rhymes with anchor! So if you know you could be more and if you feel a desire to do great things coursing through your veins, yet stay in the shadows of your own potential, Becky will show you how to fearlessly shine your light in a world calling your authentic presence. www.beckywalsh.com
If you’re not from the Bristol area you might like to come for the weekend. It’s a lovely place and should be a fun and transformational weekend.