Are you taking 2 steps forwards and 1 step back?

Uncovering what's blocking you from success and how you can fix it.

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Do you ever feel like you’re moving 2 steps forward and one step back? Like there’s always something out there to sabotage you from success? 

It’s super frustrating right? It’s like you’re trying really really hard to achieve your goals but the universe seems to just be throwing challenges at you like one of those tennis ball machines! 

The stuff I’m going to tell you now is super fascinating to me and I hope it makes sense when I try to explain it. 

We’re all human right? This means that we all have emotional baggage, it’s just a fact. You can be the most well adjusted person on the planet and there will still be things, people or situations that trigger you in some way. 

The reason for this is that life is an endless collection of experiences, some good, some bad and some that are pretty neutral. As humans with our immensely complex human brains we have the ability to have these experiences (or even witness others having experiences) and process them in a way that allows us to relate to it because then we can make sense of it. You know how frustrating it feels when you just don’t understand something? Yeah, your brain hates that so it’ll make stuff up to have it make sense in some way. 

A lot of the time during this process our brains make these experiences mean something about us. For example, someone cuts in front of us in line and we get annoyed. The truth could be that this person didn’t see you, or they’re having a really bad day, or they’re just an A-Hole. Whatever the case, we internalise it, get annoyed about it. 

Now why is it that some people can just let that stuff go and others can’t? Well for those who can’t it’s usually because they feel triggered in some way. Maybe when they were young they felt invisible and neglected or maybe they grew up around selfish and rude personalities and they bore the brunt of it. 

So when they have the experience of someone cutting in front of them in line it brings all that emotional baggage and anger back up. They’ve made the situation mean something about them and now they’re suffering for it. 

Where in reality that person’s decision to cut in front has nothing to do with them at all. Much like the people who neglected them or were rude to them growing up were actually only doing that as a result of their own suffering and it actually had nothing to do with them. Happy, authentic people who feel loved, worthy of love and accepted aren’t A-Holes and that’s a fact. 

But in those moments when we’re experiencing feeling neglected or someone’s treating us badly, we try and make sense of it and we try to relate in some way which is why we make it mean that we’re not good enough, we’re not worthy of love and acceptance, and that stuff gets rooted deep deep down in this immensely complex human brain of ours. It burrows it’s way down into the subconscious mind which means that for the majority of the time, we’re not consciously aware that we have these beliefs about ourselves.

It’s usually when we experience that trigger that we get an icky feeling, one where we don’t feel very good about ourselves, we don’t feel enough, we don’t feel worthy and this guy just proved it by cutting in front of us!

It’s hard to put your finger on exactly why you feel that way and that’s because the subconscious is a sneaky bugger and leaves you just the random pieces of the jigsaw to put together yourself. 

This is why a lot of us can feel overwhelmed by different emotions and stress, because the subconscious controls about 95% of our behaviour and thought processes. We just get all the feels man!

Anyway, I’m going to circle back to my original point here and explain how all this relates to you feeling like you’re not getting anywhere with your goals.

You have been collecting these subconscious stories for quite some time now and that’s created an unseen but not unfelt environment in your mind. 

When you’re trying to move forwards, reach goals, succeed, your environment needs to be one that’s not only open and willing to receive all the things you want but also one that breeds empowerment, self assuredness, confidence, courage and knowing that you’re totally and completely worthy and enough. 

Holding onto these subconscious stories blocks all that good stuff. 

Buddha said it well when he said, “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.”

By holding onto all that crap you’re shooting yourself in the foot. The good news is that you can fix it. 

You fix it with forgiveness and compassion. Take some time to think about and write down any memory you have that holds any kind of negative emotion for you. It could be to do with anything, money, appearance, love etc. 

Write them all down and notice where they may be popping up in the way you feel about yourself, think or behave now. Then forgive yourself for believing that you weren’t good enough, nice enough, pretty enough etc.

When you shine a light of love, compassion and forgiveness on yourself you allow yourself to release the belief/negative story thats been dictating your behaviour, thoughts and feelings. 

Once you’ve released these blocks you allow the awesomeness to flow in! 

If you're interested in more support from me you can find me on Facebook in my Facebook group where I do free trainings or on Instagram.

Amy Shefik

Happiness Coach, The Fierce Flamingo

I help people navigate their way through the challenges and expectations of being a grown up in modern society, whilst building happiness, self-worth and having more fun.


Go to the profile of Claire Bailey
over 4 years ago
Thank you. That was very insightful and I will do the activity.
Go to the profile of Amy Shefik
over 4 years ago
Thanks Claire :) You'll be amazed at the stuff you uncover!