Often in counselling the work we do is helping clients to find ways to be kind and compassionate to themselves. This may conjure up images of being soft, loving and gentle, of finding ways to relate to yourself with less edge.

However, compassion and kindness is not always like this. Sometimes, when you are lacking energy, hope or motivation the remedy is not about being permissive and gentle, it might be about a more fierce kind compassion, or tough love. It might be about feeling difficult feelings and taking action anyway, or gathering yourself to face the things you have until now avoided. Therapy is not always comfortable, but it should always be impactful. If it is not, how is it helping?

When what you are experiencing or doing is not working for you, ask yourself, what kind of compassion do I need right now; tenderness, playfulness or fierceness? All three are important.