Why are we here?

Exploring purpose and passion.

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Why am I here is a question that has troubled me on and off for many years. That frustrated feeling that comes from hours of thinking and analyzing that if I could just discover that one thing …... then everything would fall into place.

The answer has finally come in the most unusual and unexpected ways. It’s come from my heart. And it has been my clients, friends, fellow mastermind peeps, tribe mates, children and husband that have revealed it to me.

I’m sharing this because I suspect some of you also do what I do.

You feel a sense of increased energy in you, and because you’ve got no idea how to put it into form, it gets blocked in frustration.

That was how I felt.

I would question, “how do I put the longing in my heart into form?”

The crazy thing was, it was right in front of my nose being mirrored everywhere but I couldn’t see it.

I was too lost in figuring it all out.

My mind was a brilliant trickster for me that had me looping in circles between figuring and then feeling frustrated and depressed because the answers weren’t clear.

Here’s what I know now … Purpose as a doing thing….

I, like you, have lots of roles: mother, daughter, wife, responsible pet owner (guinea pigs, cat and dog!), friend, coach, writer, income provider, cleaner, cook etc.

I’ve looked for my purpose in these roles but it never felt like it could fully be articulated there. Of course I love these roles (well maybe not guinea pig hutch cleaner!) but I was looking for something different. An overarching theme. A thingy-my-bob. A raison d'être.

I've also looked for purpose in accomplishments. I was trained this way. The thing with this one is once I achieve what I set out to, I'm left feeling hollow again. It's a honey trap.

Purpose as a Statement ….

For quite a few years I worked with 2 versions of purpose statements …

I was born at this particular time in history to ………………………………….

And I am (metaphor) that ………………….

I’ve worked and re-worked these statements but often they’ve felt contrived and artificial in some way.

Purpose as an Expression of my Being …

This is where it all started to shift for me.

When I realised that it was my conditioning that had me seek out roles and achieve them. That my conditioning was driving me more than my natural expression of who I am as a human being.

Years ago I did a future self exercise where I clearly felt the energy of me twenty years in the future. I was sat in a chalet in the mountains in Switzerland. There was a beautiful wood burner in the centre of the house and everywhere was light, airy and warm. I remember the metaphor for my essence was “Sunshine.”

I didn’t think too much about my future self. Occasionally I would call on her when I felt stuck. My current day self would inquire of my future self what she would do in a particular situation. But for the most time, I just left my future self out there, floating around in my imagination.

As I pushed and strove in very usual and conditioned ways, I began to realise that my purpose wasn’t a place to go or a destination.

It was an expression of me.

I began to think about what the purpose of sunshine is and today as I walked the dog with the sun warming my back behind me a flash of insight came to me.

Sunshine helps things grow.

It opens. It nourishes. It softens.

Sunshine is unconditional and it doesn’t require anything in return. It just shines.

Sunshine shines when its time to shine.

Sunshine can’t be forced, as much as we might want to have it, we can’t force it.

It’s natural.

Clouds sometimes block sunshine and in reality it ‘s always shining.

As I sit with this, it’s the perfect metaphor for my purpose.

When I go back to times when I was five years old, I remember being just like sunshine, happy, free, chatty, imaginative and warm.

When I go back five years in time, there were glimpses of sunshine and lots of thinking and figuring clouds that blocked my essence from shining.

When I go forward to my future self in 5 years time, I feel a sense of knowing and ease that I express my being far more than I have allowed myself to in the past.

I feel peaceful.

I have a sense of peace about this inside me.

And when I sit with the question, “Who do I need to become, in order to manifest this essence?” I have an answer out of nowhere.

A spokesperson.

As soon as I say it I feel a twinge inside my belly. It’s a familiar hint of fear.

Yet I know it’s a truth. It’s so crystal clear.

My clients, peers and tribe mates have been calling this forth in me for ages.

I am a spokesperson for self acceptance, self empowerment and unconditional love.

For healing old wounds that have our small selves take hold.

The wounds that have us feel not good enough and seek acceptance, validation and peace outside ourselves.

The wounds that have us trick ourselves into thinking we need something other than what we already have inside.

I am a spokesperson for shining out loud, imperfect, authentic and standing in the centre of ourselves radiating our essence out to the world.

And the gift for you?

If this resonates with you and you’ve found yourself searching for that one thing that will have your purpose make sense to you, why not take a break.

The answer doesn’t lie in a clever statement.

The answer’s already there in you.

You just have to look inside.

Remember those moments when you felt free and alive and consider, who you were being.

Discover the feeling tone that already exists right now in your life in those moments.

Consider what people in your life come to you for.

What do they love about being with you?

And then begin to dream.

If you were being more of this essence, what would that be like in your life?

What if your purpose was to rediscover your true essence, stand in the centre of it and radiate from this place?

Vanessa Anstee

Life Coach

I'm inspired by who you can be without apology and I want to help you let your real self shine. I've been a life coach for 10 years. I've always been a seeker trying to discover a way of being in life that feels soulful, authentic and aligned to what my heart wants not what my head thinks I should have, be or do. I spent 20+ year career in HR, OD, talent management and executive coaching. My kids were my biggest wake up. I saw the way I was working wasn't working anymore. I couldn't keep pushing myself harder. I had to accept I couldn't attain this perfected version of myself that I had strived most of my life to achieve. I had to find love not from accolades and other people's acceptance but from deep inside me. That's when I learnt to connect to my heart, heal my childhood wounds and fears of never being enough and set light to my passion in a completely new way. I want one thing for my clients. Be real. Be themselves, fall madly in love with that person and honour their soul's calling.