Five Things That Stop Women Making The Money They Want
It's time to uncover what is holding you back from creating the wealth you have dreamed of and how you can reprogram your mind for abundance.
As I cast my mind back 18 months ago at a time when I remember a distinct and unexplainable sales drop after what had been a momentous few weeks, I was thinking “Why is everything going wrong?” However, there was almost an element of me that didn’t care. My 8 year old brother had just been diagnosed with leukaemia so money didn’t feel important, nor did success in comparison to my brother's life. I had created a successful business and I was watching it deteriorate in front of my eyes and yet I found it hard to muster up the energy to even care.
I mean, I watched my dad struggle with this devastating news and I knew I needed to be there for him. What I didn’t realise until a few months after was that this lethal concoction of fear, guilt and misunderstanding of what money was, led me to self-sabotage my own business and I bet after reading this article you will realise where in your life you have done it too.
I had never heard the notion of ‘money story’ until my wonderful coach introduced me to it. I had dabbled with the notion of wealth consciousness and had been introduced to the concept of what money actually was by a previous coach but it wasn’t till last year that I truly understood how deeply rooted these limiting beliefs were and how much they were hindering my success.
As I began the work on myself, it became glaringly apparent that I was harbouring an immense amount of guilt around earning money when my dad who I loved very much was struggling with this difficult situation that put a huge financial burden on him. I realised I was scared of what people would think so I kept quiet about my successes and in addition, I found myself devaluing the importance of making money because after all , love is more important than money. And let’s face it, when we think of a cancer patient, love seems to be the prevailing emotion.
Let me break this down for you. Our subconscious is amazing at protecting us. If it clocks onto the fact we feel guilty or scared, there will be an element of protection involved and this results in it driving us to do things to make us feel good again. So if running a successful business while your dad suffers equals guilt, your subconscious will do its best to make us feel good again. The result of this was self-sabotaging my business so that I brought myself down to the pain of those I cared so deeply about. I was now on their level and that guilt subsided.
On further investigation of my 30 year old belief system, I realised that this belief that we shouldn't be greedy because there are poor people was the foundation for my guiltt that played the part of the emotions involved with my father. So what has been stopping you making money?
After working closely with dozens of women, it is crystal clear that the first thing that stops women from earning the money they desire is that they are actually more scared of having success than not. Having money can make women feel nervous and raises a set of fear-based questions. Will men find me attractive? Will my family judge me? Will my friends still like me? Will someone want to rob me? Can I handle the responsibility? Do I even want to pay more taxes? What if I lose it all? Will people think I am greedy?
I am willing to bet my bottom dollar that you have had one of these thoughts stopping you from going for the success you truly wanted. And most of these beliefs were formed through either verbal conditioning, specific incidents or modelling. If I had a pound for every time my mum said the phrase “ surviving’ when someone asked her how she was, I ironically think I would be a millionaire. And even more ironically my mother has a seven figure net worth. She has made 'survival mode' her default mode and this has been engrained in me. There is a big difference between living in survival and living in abundance. If I had a pound for every time that I heard the phrase “Money doesn't grow on trees" or " That's how the other half live', I would be a billionaire. We get trained from a young age to see money as something in scarcity and we become primed to become fearful of it to some degree or to believe we need to be born into it. It is important to recognise what you were taught about money growing up.
The second huge thing that stops women really going for success and achieving the money they want is they want things to be ‘perfect’ before starting the next venture or going for a new job. A lot of women are so scared of not having their ducks in order that they wait and wait and wait and the elusive perfect moment or perfect job or perfect business never appears.I hate to be the bearer of bad news but most women wear perfectionism as a medal of honour when in all truth it is just fear dressed up in Jimmy Choos.
The third common limiting belief that stops woman is the misconception that money and love are comparable and therefore if we should prioritise them we should always pick love. Look don't get me wrong, love is incredible and important but it’s like saying what is more important, your eyes or your ears? Both are super important for the task they serve. I’m pretty sure if I called up the bank and asked to pay my credit card off with the currency of love, they wouldn’t be that forthcoming to accept. When we devalue the importance of money, we limit our ability to make more of it. Why would we put the effort to make more money, if we don’t see it as necessary as love. Both are important and both deserve equal attention and focus to grow.
This brings me nicely onto the fourth thing that stops women become wealthy is the deep-rooted belief that they are not worthy or deserving. When we don't fully love or accept ourselves as the incredible human beings we are, we block good things happening to us . When we berate ourselves for being too fat, too ugly, too loud, too stupid, we are telling the universe we don't want abundance because we aren't good enough. Yes I am going all woo-woo on you but it's universal law. We can only attract what we desire when we vibrate at a high frequency and there is nothing high about putting ourselves down.
The fifth reason I feel that stops women from making money is the lack of knowledge of what is possible in terms of making money . Once again our minds are so beautifully primed to believe that time and money is linear. We can only earn per hour and there is a cap of our earnings because we are restricted by time. This common misconception is what keeps most people broke. Learning how to leverage my time and make money online has radically changed my life and is one of the reasons I am so passionate about showing women how to build online businesses.
The great news is that with the right tools and guidance you can start to uncover most of your limiting beliefs which have stopped you and start reprogramming your mind to attract and make more money. Once I had began unravelling the dichotomy of what the heck was going on inside my head, I started to notice magical things happen. My businesses picked up, opportunities started coming my way and suddenly making money felt so much easier. Surely, it couldn't be that simple?
Well, it’s not quite that simple but it is 100% do-able. The thing about 30 year old belief systems is that it takes time to unravel and sneaky little new beliefs will crop up. In addition, revamping your money mindset isn't a one day job, It takes time to knock down a house and then build new foundations to build a beauttful new mansion. Considering it took decades for those beliefs to become strong foundations, it takes a bulldozer of mindset work to knock down and an army of neurons to build back up again but it is possible. I am living proof. Take a moment to cast your mind back to your childhood - what did money mean in your family? Start becoming aware of what people close to you are saying about money. Start noticing how you feel about money. Once you unlock your awareness, you can begin changing the way you think, feel and attract money and you will thank me as you watch your bank balance grow.