Striking a power pose

This weeks challenge was to smile as you enter a room....

Go to the profile of Ffi Ffi Trixibelle
Mar 14, 2017
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This challenge set by Sarah-Kate seemed relatively simple one however, it has proved to me a deceptively powerful. At the moment I seem to be going through a confidence crisis. At work I feel like a bit of a loose part since going down to two days- the newbie is super fantastic and I feel a bit like a discarded husk...even though it was my choice to go down to two days in order to start my degree. My logical mind is telling me this but inside my inner child is feeling a bit put out. I'm questioning whether I've chosen the right path and worry about whether I can do the work and cope with the debt especially when last week a third year told me it was one of the most difficult degrees to pass. My Mam turned 90 on Thursday, as I think I've mentioned she is amazing however I can't help think what will happen one day when she is no longer here. I don't think I will cope. But cope I must. My son has had a recent operation and he's not recovering too well, he also wants to move out and I worry that I will be demented with worry if he does so. Can you love people too much?Also its my birthday this month and I feel like all of a sudden, old, I feel fat, wrinkly and slow, and I have no idea what to wear these days and feel like if I reach out for the leggings one more time I will be officially frumpy! I know everyone goes through these times and experience tells me this too will pass but in the meantime I've been smiling as I enter a room, sometimes hiding the emotions that I am really feeling and it has helped as people react to you more positively, even if sometimes its just an act. I've often deployed this 'fake it til you make it' strategy however, it was good to be reminded whilst I am feeling this way. I'm hoping these feelings will fade and I will be back to my old self soon but in the meantime I'm going to keep smiling. love and light 'til next time x

Go to the profile of Ffi Ffi Trixibelle

Ffi Ffi Trixibelle

I'm a single parent of ONE lovely lanky teenager.. I live in deepest rural Wales . My 'proper' job is in marketing and events but I am also a trained reflexologist, masseur and reiki giver (go figure!) I also look after my Mum who is in her late 80's, my dog Ted, my cat Black and my hens and goldfish...my dream is to have a small holding and offer people holidays in my teepee and maybe the odd therapy ....so as you can see I am a mass of contradictions.... I like to walk, do yoga, eat salad and visit new places but I also like to drive fast, Feast ice lollies, vodka on Friday's with friends(, which leads to dancing in my kitchen) my coffee , and staying up late... I can be outgoing but also extremely shy so like the rest of you I am still trying to figure it out one day at a time...

2 Comments

Go to the profile of Mark Cuddy
Mark Cuddy about 1 year ago

Fi, you know and I know that these feelings happen from time to time. They will pass - trust me. Life's not easy and because you love your family deeply these thoughts can cause pain. If it's any help when I think of my parents 'going' I don't know how I will cope - it will be dark, dark days. That's when we need friends. And just like James Taylor "You've got a friend" in me. If you need support just e-mail me and I'll try my best to help. For starters watch a Richard Prior live concert, go for a walk with the dog, breath and remember there are people out there who care and know what you're going through. All the very best, Marko

Go to the profile of Jacqui
Jacqui about 1 year ago

Fi - what you write will resonate with so many! I honestly think we can only live one day at a time oterwise life gets so bloody overwhelming! I agree with Mark: friendship, fresh air and music helps. Also realising that it is alright to feel shit at times!