A fine romance...with some kisses!

The rhythm of life....

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So Fi, you want me to inject romance into my life? You are so right my life needs it. Simon and I haven't been away on our own since our youngest was conceived - 12 years ago! This is not because we secretly can't stand each other but rather we don't have the family support around us to help with this. Also leaving my mum - the other age of the family spectrum - is difficult too. This is not a woe-is-me post though. Our family life is rich and rewarding. Simon and I have an implicit trust in each other that we are both completely committed to our family and when we can, we will have the energy to focus on the romance of our relationship again. Now it is just a quiet, understated romance which comes of pride in our family and pride in ourselves for keeping it all ticking over.

Saying that though, it can be a habit to collapse at the end of the night to watch an old QI before we fall asleep and so Fi's reminder of the importance of showing our love is timely.

I also think you need to fall back in love with yourself somewhat before you can muster the energy to reignite long standing passions. To that end, we have been getting carers in to help with mum a bit more - on the whole she is not keen but is warming to more regular company. I have started Zumba and am thoroughly enjoying it - it gives you a chance to dance when you don't go to clubs anymore and my regular meditation tops up my quota of love and compassion, meaning that life is full but can be calmed.

What would I wish to offer Simon if I could? A day together with no responsibilities: a walk on the moors, tea and cake at a lovely cafe, a stay in a cosy country B and B. It will happen one day and the good thing is we know we would enjoy, not dread, that time together. Experience shows that the rhythms of life change and I think sometimes getting into the groove of the life you have now and enjoying that, is the best way of embracing lfe around you. It won't be long before our house gets a lot less full and that will take some getting used to. So, for now romance is bed socks, QI and a wonderful shoulder to lean on...and the thoughts of future trips away together!


Mother, wife, daughter, teacher...

Firmly stuck in the 'sandwich generation' category, I am 46 years old and looking to shake things up a bit! I am a teacher, which I love - but it takes over your life! A mother of three - two daughters, 16 and 15, a son aged 11. Wife to Simon for 19 years. Carer for rather eccentric mum, aged 89.


Go to the profile of Vanessa
almost 5 years ago
Jacqui, you're so right! Love is still love in all of its guises and your warm mutual support sounds like a lovely place to nurture each other when life is asking a lot of you both. You have such a gift for embracing the gift of the moment, not pushing ahead or looking wistfully behind.