Week 48: Using Wake Up to help you though the dark times...

The experiments that provide a deeper support and connection

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On Saturday I received the dreaded call back letter from a mammogram screening. Unable to ring the hospital for further information I had a weekend of attempting to put things into perspective and stay calm.

It is easy to stay connected and philosophical when life seems to be ticking along nicely, but when a potentially life changing moment arrives that could shake you to your core a smiley face on your hand may not be enough.

I did cope though and with more courage and calmness than I would have done a year ago. Three experiments came out of my emotional tool box and really helped:

  • 10 minutes outside to breathe and smile
  • Journaling and freewriting
  • Dancing

I knew at the time that these experiments resonated with me and through them I found the peace to get through the past hellish days. My husband was quietly amazing as always and I allowed myself to focus on the trust in myself and those around me.

Yesterday I was in hospital and burst into tears as I walked through the doors. At that point I had to give in to my panic. I am pretty certain I will be ok: I have had a biopsy and await results, but whatever occurs it is all very early, very manageable and probably very positive.

But blimey! This has really woken me up! The things that can seem boring, mundane, repetitive are bloody amazing and want them to continue. I LOVE my life, my family, my home, my new and old friends! I also LOVE me and have LOVED being part of the Wake Up family!

So Wake Uppers! Perhaps this has been the universe’s way of testing just how much I have woken up to life so when the inevitable bumps in the road occur I am able to dig deep and trust in myself that we will cope. After my results I may be able to put the smiley face on my hand, but for now it is not enough. What did make me laugh was the day after the experiment was posted I found 4 smiley face stickers on 4 of my desks at school. Instead of tutting about who put them there I thought what a great idea – a smiley face in unexpected places to remind us that life is fantastic!


Mother, wife, daughter, teacher...

Firmly stuck in the 'sandwich generation' category, I am 46 years old and looking to shake things up a bit! I am a teacher, which I love - but it takes over your life! A mother of three - two daughters, 16 and 15, a son aged 11. Wife to Simon for 19 years. Carer for rather eccentric mum, aged 89.


Go to the profile of Mark Cuddy
almost 5 years ago
Jacqui, you are correct about the change we can have when we hear or fear bad news about our health. When I was told about three years ago that I had a 30% lung capacity (which was not my fault) and my research on the internet suggested I had no more than 12 years left of my life I cried alone. I felt emotionally shattered. With time against me I started to see beauty everywhere and was thankful for loads of silly little stuff. And just like you are doing now I fought against the negativity that I was surrounded by. Over time because of my hard work I confounded the nurses who suggested my lungs were doomed. Two years later I climbed Ben Nevis - what an achievement. My point is; no matter what life throws at you, you know YOU can defeat it. You have a great family who you love and they love you. You are the most important person in their life and they will support you completely. Their love coupled with your own will see you through any dark times. Furthermore you do have the 'wake up' family for support and if you need me for anything just ask and I'll be there. All the very best - Marko.
Go to the profile of Fiona Dolben
almost 5 years ago
Moving post Jacqui and how true . Massive hugs X
Go to the profile of Chris Baréz-Brown
almost 5 years ago
Jacqui, you are so right about how trauma gets us totally conscious! Beautiful post, thank you and sending big love, Chris xx
Go to the profile of Chris Baréz-Brown
almost 5 years ago
btw Jacqui, do keep us posted if feels like you want to. Focusing positive energy your way (and Dancing motivation :) ) Hugest love C x
Go to the profile of Jacqui
almost 5 years ago
Thank you everyone. You are all wonderful. I am sure all will be fine but moments like this do allow you to realise how much love is in you. All my love to you all.