Week 39: Righting a Past Wrong

Regrets, I have a few...

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Ok, so Chris set us an experiment to mentally revisit a moment in our past of which we were not proud and to make amends.

A few years ago I spent a lot of time in the past: frustrations of childhood and adolescence; the unfairness of cards which had been dealt and sometimes tinges of jealousy at others whose lives seemed to have been blessed. Then I realised that these thoughts were actually hindering me connecting with life as it was now. The thoughts had been a habit and were a means to avoid taking responsibility for my part in many events. If I wittered on in my head about how things hadn’t gone well in the past I could avoid living in the present!

So I suppose I performed this experiment at that point of realisation: I could either focus on past events that were less than meaningful or focus on lessons learnt and move on. I remember reading something that said we often put ourselves in the centre of every story and perhaps by seeing that others had their own version of the story we could depersonalise things and empathise with them. I don’t think I have ever intentionally hurt anyone but I am sure at times my actions have been clumsy and caused offense. If I had realised I would have made amends. I learnt that when I had felt offense from others they also had probably not set out to do this.

So I have made peace with my past actions and reactions and it does allow for more room for connecting with living now, but I would say it took a long while to reach that point so perhaps for engrained past regrets this experiment is just the start of a process - but a process which could liberate you from a lot of emotional baggage!


Mother, wife, daughter, teacher...

Firmly stuck in the 'sandwich generation' category, I am 46 years old and looking to shake things up a bit! I am a teacher, which I love - but it takes over your life! A mother of three - two daughters, 16 and 15, a son aged 11. Wife to Simon for 19 years. Carer for rather eccentric mum, aged 89.


Go to the profile of Chris Baréz-Brown
about 5 years ago
That sounds like a great process of acceptance went on. Tough experiment. Thank you for insight, especially seeing things from others perspective. BIg love, Chris xx
Go to the profile of Mark Cuddy
about 5 years ago
I'm glad you've moved on. Life is for living right now and the past IS just the past and lessons we can learn from it but we don't have to be emotionally weighed down by it and riddled and constricted by it. YEAH-YEAH for Jacqui! Take it easy.
Go to the profile of Fiona Dolben
about 5 years ago
Sounds like you are in a great place now and feeling at peace which is wonderful x