I'm Too Scared To Try - in case I fail

We all fail at something – that’s an inevitable fact of life. Some people prefer to remain stuck inside the safe confines of their comfort zone to try to avoid failure; but paradoxically this too is a failure – to live a full life.

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Sep 01, 2016
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Q. How can I move on from my feelings of rejection I've felt since being a child? It’s affected so much of my adult life. I don’t push myself to try new things at home or at work, as I’m scared I’ll fail.

A. It’s sad to hear that you experienced the pain of rejection so young, and that it still affects you today.

If you’d felt secure and accepted by your parents, then any later rejections wouldn’t have made a big impact upon you.

Parents generally do the best they know how to. Sometimes that just isn’t good enough and they make mistakes which affect their children into adulthood. They probably didn’t know any better back then, and they weren’t aware enough to sort themselves out before becoming parents.

It’s no wonder that you’re now afraid of doing something which might lead to failure and maybe further rejection – at least as you see it.

Being accepted for who we are is essential to our survival within our ‘tribe’. We reject people as a way of punishing them - which is why this feels like such a big thing for you – and your primitive fears of being rejected, ridiculed and cast-out are being activated in the present day.

We all fail at something – that’s an inevitable fact of life. Some people prefer to remain stuck inside the safe confines of their comfort zone to try to avoid failure; but paradoxically this too is a failure – to live a full life.

If you ensure that you never reject the little child who still lives inside you, and you promise to soothe their fears and keep them safe – no matter what new things they may try – you will go a long way to repairing the hurt you felt long ago, and begin to trust in yourself to take risks – with a childlike enthusiasm.

You can emotionally support yourself by doing this:-

Imagine that you have your arm around the little child you once were. Hold them close and speak gently into their ear as you say…

“I am here for you now and I will never leave you. Whatever you do is good enough for me, and I will always support you when you try new things and take new risks. You will never be rejected by me. You are doing really well and I am very proud of you.”

The healing this will bring you will have a ‘ripple effect’ to everyone you have contact with – and even to the next generation if you become a parent yourself.

I wish the little kid inside you the courage to try and fail… and to get up and try again with a strong spirit.

(You'll find lots of FREE help from my website www.maxineharley.com, as well as online self-help workshops and short guides/courses to help you to boost your self-esteem, self-concept, confidence and assertiveness)

Maxine Harley (MSc Psychotherapy) MIND HEALER & MENTOR

www.maxineharley.com

www.maxineharleymentoring.com

www.the-ripple-effect.co.uk

www.qpp.uk.com

Go to the profile of Maxine Harley

Maxine Harley

MIND HEALER & MENTOR - , S.E.L.E.C.T. YOUR LIFE COMPANY LTD.

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