Week 34- Just say no....

Say no to something you routinely say yes to

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Say no to something you routinely say yes to..... This week was not a routine one for me but not necessarily out of choice. Mam was having her eye operation on Tuesday and was hugely anxious and not herself at all. I’d already booked Tuesday off to take her. To cut a long story short this routine operation was very traumatic for my 89 year old Mam. She seemed to revert into a child and I was feeling very much out of my depth. So in a nutshell I had to say no to work as there was no way I could leave her alone after the operation. The operation had aggravated another condition, her life force was so low and I was very worried indeed. I stayed with her for 48 hours and did the best I could to help her. My three sisters helped too and somehow we got through the week. It’s not easy when there are so many strong females involved. It’s scary when the one person who is always ok and there for you isn’t ok anymore. After the weekend she improved a lot and last week she even wanted me to take her for lunch and bought a new outfit from her favourite boutique something I couldn’t have imagined the week before. I washed and styled her hair and I could see her spirit returning. I feel a lot of guilt about not doing enough for my Mam but after a long afternoon with my sister waiting for the ward to release Mam, we had numerous coffees and spent more time together than we had in a while I decided to listen to her wisdom and say no to guilt too. It doesn’t help anyone.

Ffi Ffi Trixibelle

I'm a single parent of ONE lovely lanky teenager.. I live in deepest rural Wales . My 'proper' job is in marketing and events but I am also a trained reflexologist, masseur and reiki giver (go figure!) I also look after my Mum who is in her late 80's, my dog Ted, my cat Black and my hens and goldfish...my dream is to have a small holding and offer people holidays in my teepee and maybe the odd therapy ....so as you can see I am a mass of contradictions.... I like to walk, do yoga, eat salad and visit new places but I also like to drive fast, Feast ice lollies, vodka on Friday's with friends(, which leads to dancing in my kitchen) my coffee , and staying up late... I can be outgoing but also extremely shy so like the rest of you I am still trying to figure it out one day at a time...


Go to the profile of Jacqui
Jacqui over 4 years ago

Oh I can so feel for you here. When you become the parent in these situations so many issues are involved. I can honestly say I have grieved for the loss of a strong parental voice. Your family and mum sound amazing. Like you, I would gave said no to work in this situation. Some things are too important. Lots of love

Go to the profile of Ffi Ffi Trixibelle
Ffi Ffi Trixibelle over 4 years ago

thank you Jacqui, its not a nice thing to experience at any age. Yes it was funny how insignificant it was once I'd made my mind up to stay.

Go to the profile of Vanessa
Vanessa over 4 years ago

Sending my biggest wishes to your Mam that she continues her recovery. You are such a strong and loving woman, Fi - you inspire me.

Go to the profile of Mark Cuddy
Mark Cuddy over 4 years ago

Fi, give your mum a big hug off me and tell her it's off a big soft Scouser who's thinking about her and sending her good wishes, she's clearly a great mum (mam). Take it easy.

Go to the profile of Ffi Ffi Trixibelle
Ffi Ffi Trixibelle over 4 years ago

Thank you Mark. I will. :)

Go to the profile of Ffi Ffi Trixibelle
Ffi Ffi Trixibelle over 4 years ago

Vanessa massive thank you X

Go to the profile of Chris Baréz-Brown
Chris Baréz-Brown over 4 years ago

So true, guilt serves nobody. Sounds like you did the best 'no' anybody can do, take the time to be there for a loved one. Hope your Mam gets better soon, huge love, C x