Why Do I Have Such A Short Fuse?

Problems can’t be solved by our more primitive emotional brains – it only makes them worse!

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Q I have a really short fuse. I scream at other road users who get in my way, and find myself snapping at people all the time. How can I calm down and stop feeling so angry?

A. There are two aspects here. Why your fuse is so short, and how you can be more in control of yourself.

There may be physical reasons for your volatile mood – such as blood-sugar, thyroid or hormonal imbalances, food intolerances, toxins, tiredness or high levels of stress hormones.
You should also look at any psychological and emotional causes of your irritability and anger.

When you are having a calmer few minutes (maybe when you’re in the bath, or when you first wake up in the morning) review the last time you had an angry outburst.

* How did it all start?

* At what point did you lose control of yourself ?

* How did you then behave, and what would you have looked like?

* If someone you wanted to impress had been watching you – how differently would you have behaved?
(Healthy shame motivates us to change!)

* Was there anything about this particular scenario or person which has old triggers or associations for you? If so, you should clearly separate them into the past and present.

Instead of bursting onto the emotional centre stage, imagine yourself flying up into the dress circle to observe the drama from a clearer, more detached distance.

Using this different perspective will allow you to shift from the emotionally reactive area of your brain into your more advanced observing, thinking and reasoning area.

Problems can’t be solved by our more primitive emotional brains – it only makes them worse!

If you again find yourself like a volcano that’s about to erupt with anger then at least remember A-B-C

A – Anger/Adrenalin/Arousal – notice what’s happening in your body.
B – Breath – take five long slow breaths, and always extend the outgoing breath.
C – Calm down your body with each breath – and imagine it snowing on that volcano! See a video here

Avoid stress and regularly ask yourself throughout the day;
“Am I feeling like a volcano or a tranquil pond right now?”
Only one of these is good for you!

Maxine Harley (MSc Psychotherapy) - MIND HEALER & MENTOR


www.the-ripple-effect.co.uk - where you'll find a short online self-help workshop called Understanding Anger which will give you much greater understanding of your anger - and some audio tracks to help you to manage and control it!



Maxine Harley