Write A Letter
Week 33 of 'The Great Wake Up!'
Considering one of my great loves in life is writing, I found this week's experiment extremely difficult. The task was simple enough - to write a handwritten letter to someone explaining why I appreciate them.
But I'm not very good at expressing my emotions. I never have been. And the thought of writing a letter to someone telling them what I appreciate about them filled me with dread. I normally show people how much I care about them by gently teasing and (affectionately) making fun of them. That's my way of expressing my love and appreciation, which I admit is a slightly strange way of doing it. But if I now started telling people what I appreciated about them, whether in writing or in person, they would probably start to worry about me!
This exercise reminded me of one of the earliest Great Wake Up experiments, where we had to tell one person each day what we loved about them. I remember finding that just as difficult too for the very same reasons.
Nevertheless, despite all this, I went through a list of people who were possible contenders for being the recipient of this letter and tried to put them in some kind of order - who would be the least likely to think that I've lost it if I were to write them this letter? That was my very simple criteria.
But after some deliberation I realised that this defeated the purpose of the whole exercise because the list should really have been in order of those I appreciated most. I was definitely approaching it in the wrong way!
Anyway these thoughts went around in my head for quite some time before I reached the conclusion that I was clearly resisting this particular task for some reason and therefore I just couldn't bring myself to do it.
Which is somewhat surprising to me because even though I'm not good at showing my emotions, I do spend every day either writing my blog or writing in my journal. Although my blogs are ultimately typed up the first draft is always handwritten. So on paper (pardon the pun!) this would seem like the perfect task for me.
Despite all this, as I have been on a self-compassion workshop recently I thought that I would amend this experiment slightly and instead write a letter of appreciation to myself, which is what I am now going to do.