​What do they say after you’ve left the room?

How are you showing up?

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When we’ve just met someone or spent some time with them, it’s very easy to describe what we think and how we feel about someone else and how they ‘were'. We get a feeling about them, what we experienced being with them and what we noticed about how they made us feel. It’s easy to then say “Oh, yes, I met her; she was very friendly/interesting/fun/dull stand-offish/savvy/helpful/glamorous/unfriendly/smart.” You get the idea. People pick up a sense of you very quickly; how you come across, how you put yourself across, how you project yourself (or if you project yourself) to them.

The question to ask yourself is “do I come across in a way that makes the other person feel comfortable as well and in a way that works for me too?”

Before you go to your next client meeting, your next networking event or your next social gathering, really consider and plan how you want to ‘be’ and how you want to be seen as you take part. Give yourself the benefit of asking yourself this powerful - and confronting - question:

“What do I want people to say about me after I’ve left the room?”

Ask yourself “when I leave the room after a meeting, what do I want the people still in the room to say about me?” Jot down your thoughts – at least 5 points. Then, if you really want to get clearer and more useful input for where you are at the moment, ask 5 other people. It’s good to ask people from different areas in your life – family, friends and of course colleagues - past and present.

Pose them the question “when I leave the room, what do you think people say about me and the sort of person I am?” Clients often do this via email to make it easy. Tell your 5 people it will really help you and then capture what they say and compare it with what you’ve said yourself.

5 things I guarantee you:

  1. You’ll be surprised;
  2. You’ll learn something new about yourself;
  3. You’ll tell the person you ask you value their opinion;
  4. You’ll have some different expressions/language to use;
  5. You’ll be able to describe yourself with more confidence and ease.

It’s a challenging question to ask yourself and one that will give you a helpful set of clues for how you decide to ‘be’ if you decide to really show up.

Right, I’m leaving the room now.

Known as the Savvy & Influential Communication Expert, our Life Labs contributor, Kay White, is hosting a unique 3-day Live Event “Show Up; Sparkle & Be Heard LIVE” in London on 6, 7 and 8 October and as a guest of Psychologies, use the code GLITTERBALL and take 50% off your seat.

Let’s make it your time to shine at work without selling your soul. When would now be a better time to go for Promotion, Recognition and Rewards all while being true to yourself?

For further immediate ‘shots’ of inspiration and tactics on showing up at work in a way which gets you heard and understood, try Kay’s Weekly Podcast on iTunes:Show Up; Sparkle & Be Heard . They’re short and snappy and full of tips to inspire and guide you at work.

Kay White

Savvy & Influential Communication for Ambitious Women in Business, www.KayWhite.com