SINCE LAST WEDNESDAY
first week without internet access
I was sat in the apartment on Saturday night. A light breeze hushed through the window on this warm July night. The only other sound was of Bobby panting away like it was going out of fashion. We had just walked up to the apartment from the pub, a two mile walk or so, all up hill. Sarah would be meeting us later. My belly was full with four pieces of marmalade on toast, from a multi-seeded loaf, and a bottle of Dorothy Goodbody’s Golden Ale. The clock tower clock rang peacefully eleven times and at that point I don’t know if I could have been any more relaxed or happy.
This was day three from my decision to cut all communication with the Internet and e-mail, my decision to cut it down to Wednesday’s and Wednesday’s alone. I sipped on my second beer, Innis & Gunn Original, and found contemplation easy. Thursday I was confident in the action I’d taken and I had more time on my hands. I believe I used this time wisely. Friday I was still confident and felt like a young lover in a long distance relationship, recalling the good times and wide smiles and anticipating Wednesday with joy, catching up with my ‘wake up’ family and everything else.
By Saturday afternoon my confidence hadn’t waned. In truth I was more confident than ever in my decision and relishing Wednesday’s Internet ‘moment’. By Saturday night if I could have bottled all this joy I was feeling I would have – it was magical and beautiful and like a greedy child it was all for me. Furthermore this pleasure was from my own decision and my own making. A smile cracked across my face and a voice in my head said, “Cuddy, you’re not always wrong.” A second smile bigger than the first one, crept across my face and loud laughter filled my head. Oh, I was happy and I knew after only three days I was no longer a slave to the beast that is the Internet. For the next half hour I sipped the Innis & Gunn Original, waiting for Sarah to arrive and just chilled out.
From Sunday to Tuesday time happily slipped by like the previous three days. Sometimes the thought of my actions entered my head but was quickly squashed not in a dictatorship way just in a crystal clear way that I wasn’t missing anything that couldn’t wait until Wednesday. Temptation would tell me I’m probably missing something really important and as Wednesday got closer the feeling of that young long distance lover grew but this just added to the excitement.
When Wednesday came around I had more important things on my mind than Internet access. My parents were down for a few days and a good time was guaranteed and I didn’t want to miss any time with them, time was valuable. Nevertheless I did have things to send and read and catch up on, especially my ‘wake up’ family blogs and their experiments. Ironically I had cut down my Internet access to once a week and yet when my time came I didn’t have the time because life was getting in the way. But this thought brought a smile to my face and gave me more belief that I’d cracked the chains of slavery to the modern world of the Internet and its charms– yeah-yeah!
I was now looking forward. It was a proud achievement smashing the chains of slavery to the modern world. All I wanted to do now was grow spiritually and find contentment way before the end. I thought of that Dr Robert lyric,
“I hope I find release before that final flight. And by that time I won’t be putting up a fight and I give myself to you.”
I realised I was finding ‘that’ happiness well before my older years. Yes spiritually I had to grow more to fulfil what I was capable of and feel truly connected but I felt like I used to when I was kid in a library knowing everything I needed to know was in those books in front of me, I had to read, absorb, think deeply, digest, look at what I was letting enter my mind, see it from different angles and grow and forever move forward.
From time to time I had paused and stopped growing but was flourishing again thanks to the Great Wake Up experiment and all the other bloggers words of wisdom and insight and it was clear that life really was and is terrific and a blessing. And as for the modern world and technology I didn’t need to look at a screen to see joy I only had to look out of the window for that. I didn’t need a phone to chase imaginary dragons and monsters whilst telling everyone it was good for exercise, life was already out there and my imagination was greater than any app dreamt up by another’s mind. Life was wonderful.
With this the first building block to ‘going places’ now firmly set I knew I was onto something good and my mind felt cleaner. Yes folks, I had grown since last Wednesday.