Week 28- Me, myself & I
This weeks experiment is to walk and talk with a friend for 71/2 minutes to see what comes out!
This week’s experiment was talk it out….walk with a friend and talk really quickly without editing yourself for 7 1/2 minutes and note down anything that resonates emotionally.
I have to admit I was concerned about a) finding the time that suited me and fitted in with a willing friend – which is why I normally walk alone ( except for Ted who loves me so unconditionally I could say anything to and he would still lick my face all over if I let him)and b) subjecting someone to this…
As it happens even though I’d considered options of making it happen it didn’t occur in the in the way I expected. This last week has proved to be a conduit for change. I’d had three viewings on my house, I’d arranged some finance for my course and I’d mustered up the courage in my one to one with my manager to ask for the impossible. Would they consider employing me for two days a week in order for me to attend University. In the current local government culture of re-organisation and restructures and cuts and as they make more people redundant, workloads expand to cover more areas- I considered my chance of them agreeing at less than 1%. A yes would make my decision for me after weeks of should I, shouldn’t I? It would be a stepping stone to a new career, and it would mean I could carry on being paid doing something I know very well instead of starting a new course and looking for a new part time job. I had tears in my eyes when he replied without any preamble he was 100% behind my decision but he 100% did not want me to leave and said he would do anything within his power to accommodate my request. I expected a long wait but the next day I was called in to his office and received a resounding yes and congratulations….apparently the timing had been spot on they needed to find some savings, they had a new temporary member of staff that I could train up… CHCHCHHHANGES by beloved Bowie played on a reel in my head all day. The rest of the week I was working in a music festival where I was on my feet all day so I was feeling somewhat guilty about neglecting this week’s challenge, until I realised I actually do this on a regular basis with an exception- the friend is actually me. When something is on my mind or I have a decision to make I often find myself walking in fields whilst I am chuntering away to myself ( I’ve even been known to use my hands as well to emphasise points to myself !) and this week’s morning walks have been filled with- decisions about the house, about the course, about work, my head was spinning with indecision until the very last moment in my 1-2-1 when the words finally came out. That I consider myself to be my own friend is definitely down to wake up, which has helped me grow a in confidence due to the friendly blog support and to like who I am , faults and all. After all I only want what’s best for me and my close ones so who better to talk it out with?
So I am ACTUALLY DOING this thing, in September I will venture off the familiar road, thanks Chris for letting me be a part of this and helping me wake up to life’s potentials, to choices I never thought were open to me because I was too closed down going through the motions.
I feel excited for the first time in a long time and despite this week’s relentless rain I may have to don some shades as the future is looking bright.