I love Easter for lots of reasons, few of them based on religion. As the seasons turn we start to see more light, longer days and the green shoots of renewal and hope. Given recent world events, this year in particular will also be a time of reflection, made all the more poignant for me by a recent trip to the refugee camp in Calais. I would like to share what I saw and learned from the experience.
Ever found yourself having the same kind of experiences you had with your ex, but with a new partner? It’s almost like dating the same person but with a different face. It often starts off so well, but it ends in the same way. Of course the common denominator is you, but when you met, you thought they were amazing and different and you might even have thought that maybe this time we have a chance. But then it ends up the same. This is an archetypal relationship.
You know all those books, courses, webinars, seminars, workshops and retreats that offer to help you with your confidence, self-doubt, not feeling good enough, poor body image, lack of self-love and self-compassion, self-sabotaging behaviours, negative mindset, and problems with your behaviour in any of your relationships, and as a parent? Well, they're each looking at only the consequences of the same deeper and unresolved underlying cause.
We're anticipating a special family Christmas this year—the first since we married in 2009 with all of our five children (between us) and with two of their partners. But just as we suspect it's going to be a lovely one for us, I know this year will be a challenging Christmas for several friends. Christmas doesn't always turn up perfectly wrapped like a Westjet Christmas Commercial. Some years it's a bit tougher. Here are 7 types of Christmas (and I'm sure there are many more)...
Someone was telling me the other day about how vexed they had felt over being asked why they were ‘still’ single, as if there was something wrong with them, as if it was an undesirable status. I thought about some of my clients and looked at research on reasons why people are single. While I think having time to be single is extremely important, I also recognise that many prefer to be in a relationship and others still crave to be in one. With so many singles out there, what is the problem?
The relationship we have with our parents and caretakers is the most important emotional and psychological connection we will build - and it determines how we see ourselves and what we believe we deserve in life. You may aim to be a kind and loving parent, but there could be one child you've been neglecting to your detriment...your Inner Child.
Who is your Inner child and what mischief might they be creating between you and your partner or spouse?
The most important thing to remember is that not everyone is built of the same stuff when it comes to being able to create the necessary internal psychological structures – or mental 'grit' - to support themselves in times of great challenge, adversity and distress.
Next week I will be talking about 'confidence in dating' at a seminar in London. It is not uncommon to see seminars and workshops on confidence pop up time and time again. Why is confidence so important? and what if one doesn’t have any? Does that mean you are doomed?
I was speaking to someone the other day about what I did and received a gasp "Dating Caching? I didn't even know that existed!" "Well there's a whole dating industry out there, look up ODA (Online Dating Association) or DIPN.UK (Dating Industry Professionals Network)" I replied. He nearly fell off his chair. Yes, it may seem alien that anyone would seek a dating coach, but when I explained who needs us and how we help people, he let out a sigh of relief "Well maybe you can help me."