The relationship we have with our parents and caretakers is the most important emotional and psychological connection we will build - and it determines how we see ourselves and what we believe we deserve in life. You may aim to be a kind and loving parent, but there could be one child you've been neglecting to your detriment...your Inner Child.
Who is your Inner child and what mischief might they be creating between you and your partner or spouse?
The most important thing to remember is that not everyone is built of the same stuff when it comes to being able to create the necessary internal psychological structures – or mental 'grit' - to support themselves in times of great challenge, adversity and distress.
Next week I will be talking about 'confidence in dating' at a seminar in London. It is not uncommon to see seminars and workshops on confidence pop up time and time again. Why is confidence so important? and what if one doesn’t have any? Does that mean you are doomed?
I was speaking to someone the other day about what I did and received a gasp "Dating Caching? I didn't even know that existed!" "Well there's a whole dating industry out there, look up ODA (Online Dating Association) or DIPN.UK (Dating Industry Professionals Network)" I replied. He nearly fell off his chair. Yes, it may seem alien that anyone would seek a dating coach, but when I explained who needs us and how we help people, he let out a sigh of relief "Well maybe you can help me."
The dramatic closure of Kids Company has sent shockwaves around the charity world and prompted some significant questions about how to best offer effective help and support for our young people.
Bullying happens not only in the playground or park, but in the dormitory, office, boardroom or prison too. Anywhere where one person has the need to dominate and oppress another. Bullying results in feelings of weakness, vulnerability, helplessness and shame in the victim. When we've put the bullying behaviour in its rightful place these heavy feelings melt away and a new perspective and resourcefulness can take their place.
There is an epidemic of women who are reaching that age and haven’t found someone to start a family with. This is the generation who decided to get degrees, travel, work overseas, gain life experience and have lovers, knowing all along that ‘one day’ they would settle down. Not wanting to have regret over not having lived before becoming a mum, they lived life to the full to be able to share more of themselves as a fuller person and a mother. There was an abundance of boys and first loves were thrilling. Then suddenly all those available guys were married off.
Ah! it's holiday time, you and your partner are finally ready to get some quality time together. Rekindle the love as it were. Except sometimes we bring our stresses and relationship strains with us, end up bickering or arguing and generally loose out on that vital “RandR” - especially when kids are involved. So, before you go, I'd like to invite you to pack the 3 following bits of advice in order to have an awesome energy-generating love-rejuvenated holiday.
The latest relationship craze coming out of America is; ‘power couples’. The definition of a power couple is a couple; ‘so perfect that they are incapable of having romantic feelings for anyone else under any circumstances. In addition, the two have no personal flaws or idiosyncrasies that could interfere with their perfect love.
If ever there is a season for weddings it would seem to be around now, and of course it's a happy occasion to attend... Unless you are single it seems. Many singles find it annoying, if not downright difficult to be at weddings, especially if it's highlighted that they aren't "with someone".
This week I was asked the following question
Having tuned into the Psychologies theme of friendship in recent weeks, I came across a quote from Orson Welles, which is both profound and thought provoking. 'We're born alone, we live alone, and we die alone. Only through our love and friendships can we create the illusion for the moment, that we're not alone' I like the quote, but take issue with the word illusion. I will explain why.
Falling in love is one of the best feelings in the world, it’s like being on cocaine (according to brain imaging studies!) but sadly it doesn’t last forever. Indeed some people cannot sustain relationships because they are addicted to that feeling - they break up with their partners when the feeling ends to find someone new to fall in love with again. The feeling of being in love distorts our thinking, we have found ‘the one’, we feel invincible, on top of the world but only until reality announces its presence. So when we are dating, how do we know if it’s really love? What does true love actually look like?