Let's do this.

When so many people are talking the talk, how many of us are truly walking the walk at our own pace?

Go to the profile of J. Spencer
Sep 13, 2018
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It has been a while for me on the blog and with good reason, life can be so full, and I had begun to question, am I a Writer? Is this what I want? For some of us - life - it isn’t all work, or all play, or all adventure, or all family, maybe friendships, even relationships. For most of us we are juggling life’s treasures and pleasures.

Me! I certainly was and still am. Absolutely juggling! However, nowadays I am setting the pace.

And with all the talk on the life labs and leap about guilt and shame, I was prompted to write and give a personal lifestyle opinion. It is only my opinion, based on what I have read, experienced and understand, and thankfully in society today we (we, as in women) have been granted this opportunity to speak and we won’t always like what we hear, or agree, or at a push we might agree, who knows, unless we choose to read or listen for ourselves.  

In coming onboard with this emotionally embracing challenge ‘finding the self’ with this wonderful team online, I have fully immersed myself into the coaching package and opportunities that the Psychologies Magazine Team have wisely co-ordinated. This free coaching is not just for me, it is for anyone who decides to become a subscriber.

You may be reading the magazine because it was a gift for free, it may have been a one-off copy, it may have entered your life quite by chance. You may have chosen to subscribe.  There are so many new members, it’s exciting to be privy to a concept that encourages the reader to self-assess. Where are you at? Are you happy? What do you want? Can you help yourself?

I have never considered myself to have mental health issues or struggle with loneliness, however, I love the subject 'psychology' and I am an absolute fan of self-empowerment; upholding my own values whether they be traditional, or liked, purely because I’d been introduced to a concept by someone or another, or generally trusting my gut, call it intuition, some people call it ‘insight’. When we choose to read a magazine, or a book, what is it that pulls us into the purchase? Is it the title? The content? Do we want to learn what we like, and what we don’t like, or maybe escape for a bit?

As individuals we are experiencing the same Monday to Sunday, we are seeing night and day, but some of us see more of the night, others more of the day, and our diverse exchanges, connections and interactions make us singularly who we are today. I am sharing all of this with you because, when we choose to walk the walk, instead of talking the talk, we truly need to know our own limits, because nobody, absolutely no other person knows us better than ourselves.

I realised over the summer that I had become obsessed with the Writer’s World. It can happen. I am living proof in the present day. I was so obsessed, a reader and an observer, consumed with writing, upon writing, words upon words, whether a journal, poetry, or a story, I made time for little else in the free time I had. All of my other interests were slipping away.  I wasn’t exercising. I wasn’t taking a break. I was either a Writer or Mum, and I had made absolutely no time for 'ME' in my dream profession.

After taking time-out from the Writing Profession over summer, which was hard. It has become quite clear that even Writing can be an addiction without applied boundaries, and discipline.

I chose to read my journals and noted that I had been gaining weight, especially gaining over the last three years and I didn’t mind. It was gradual. I was accepting the changes that a more mature body brought. Even in writing this as a blog, after a good rest, call it a retreat from the writing profession, I knew I had been quite the controlled keeper of a healthy body and mind in the past, and all of my life, so why had I been exclaiming to the note pages that it doesn’t matter if I gain weight? Sentences like: I am getting older. I mainly have a desk job. Who cares anyway? 

Who cares?  And now that I have pulled back from aspiring to become a ‘Literary Minefield’ erm… Author – Me! I care about me. Yes. Me! I had become so consumed by shared words, I was becoming lost in a deep web of chasing after a goal instead of setting a few healthy boundaries.

Since this realisation, I’ve decided to join the gym and 50/50 my free time as an earnest writer combined with a healthy living enthusiast. I have seen on the T.V. and heard many words shared in the 2018 copies of Psychologies Magazine that a number of actors and singers exclaim, “be fit”, our bodies and our minds are connected. We can only be resilient and able if we have a core strength. This message works on so many levels both physically and mindfully.  

I have been gently exercising now for two months, with a 100% understanding for why I gave up on exercise three years ago and threw myself into writing.   

I heard someone talking about her friend to an instructor at the gym, she was also a new member, “She feels too un-coordinated and wants to give up.”  I too had been thinking the same thing during the class. The instructor replied, “It gets easier with practise.”

He was right.  

It is tough in the beginning whether we are learning something new, or retraining our minds and/or body with what we once found easy.  We have to be kind to ourselves, taking it up one level at a time.  

With all the talk of leaping I had imagined I was ready to leap toward my dreams, but after some serious self-assessment and walking the walk instead of talking the talk, I had clearly jumped into quick-sand without a clear foundation, niche and direction, or the strength to pull myself away and say enough is enough.  I'm thankful that my family were around in the evenings to generate some disconnection from the writing obsession that had consumed me.

A little self-assessment can go a long way, and I now realise my body and physical awareness is where I need to begin to focus and align in parallel with disciplined reading and writing schedules. I am now ensuring my foundations, niche, directions and discipline is clear and set before I attempt to take the leap again writing my little book – at a pace that works for me.  ‘Moderation’ and ‘Balance’ have become my buzz words. 

How about you, what are you working on?

Who would have thought that ‘Writing’ could become an addictive-obsession? When all I needed was a little self-control and discipline, add a touch of professionalism and let us not forget self-care, all at a manageable pace, then who knows what the next chapter will bring. Let's do this, and if in doubt about your own tasks versus goals I suggest a read of Jane Rapin's Life Lab Blog: Your Goal’s Suck. It offers some helpful insight.  


Image by Pixabay.

Go to the profile of J. Spencer

J. Spencer

Creative Writing Practice

Proud to be an Ambassador for Psychologies Magazine. I'm practised in self-publishing eBooks and blogging. I have a website that shares my own personal journey, creative writing, and ideas as I seek and find my own niche, maybe it's chatting about Lifestyle Choices. I hope to encourage and empower others to write creatively and find a sense of self through words, a personal niche, or maybe - simply - a peace in mind. Being kind to others and ourselves is my motivation. I am a book lover, 'Don't tell my husband!' Interested in Drama, Fantasy and Satire, sometimes the poet. I enjoy Technology and Digital Communication, whilst setting clear boundaries. I value professionalism, and integrity.

1 Comments

Go to the profile of Jane Kirkcaldy
Jane Kirkcaldy 3 months ago

Thank you, another helpful insight and quote for my notebook. Enjoy your journey x