You were born to relate

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Human beings are social animals. When we are born, we are entirely dependent on our parents to take care of us. We are wired to relate, to get into a relationship with our main carer where they want to look after us.  Without this, we may well not survive.

This natural process of relating begins as soon as we are born, building on our experience of being in the womb where our every need was met automatically as we developed.  Babies thrive on physical contact, eye contact, speech and stimulation of their senses by those around them.

This natural, spontaneous process of learning and developing through contact is sometimes lost as we develop and age.  Life experiences can facilitate development of more closed and protective patterns of relating, for example leaving you with withdrawing mistrusting, hostile or aggressive behaviours.

It can be helpful to notice that these symptoms are not a human's natural, default way of being.  They are old solutions to the difficulties encountered through life, and there may come a time when they no longer fit. They then become a problem in their own right.

Psychotherapy can support you in identifying your patterns of relating, where they are open and spontaneous, and where they are blocked or stuck. Your therapist can help you work out what you would rather have. With them you can build the relationship and mutual trust to experience different relating, first in the therapeutic relationship, and in time out in your life more generally. 

Psychotherapy brings us back to our spontaneous, true selves, building the resources we need to be in tune with ourselves and others. It is not always quick, or easy, but it is most often possible. For support in developing your relating, get in touch.

Fe Robinson, Psychotherapist

I am here to help you thrive, whatever life brings. I offer Psychotherapy, EMDR therapy and Couples Counselling to clients based in Durham. I am UKCP Accredited and an EMDR Europe Practitioner, and offer Clinical Supervision to counsellors and psychotherapists locally. I have worked in private practice, the NHS, and in charitable organisations, with a wide range of clients and conditions.

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