Suicidal thoughts can be an extremely distressing symptom. While many people who experience them will thankfully never reach a stage where they take their own life, the thoughts themselves can nonetheless be very difficult to live with.
Suicudal thoughts come in many shapes and sizes. They may be thoughts of life not being worth living, or of life being too painful to bear. Perhaps it is that you think that no-one would miss you were you not here, or that you are a burden to those you love. Alternatively, you may feel that there is no hope and no help to be had.
These dark thoughts are often accompanied by a deep sense of shame and guilt. This makes them hard to share and talk about. In turn this secrecy compounds the feelings of being alone and beyond help and the cycle continues, with distress deepening.
When you are suffering to this degree, it can be very helpful to find someone you can share your pain with. This may be someone you are close to and trust, a family member, friend or colleague. Or, it may be that for you someone outside your life would feel more comfortable, your GP, or a counsellor. Don't forget, if you are in crisis, the Samaritans are always available on 116 123 at no cost, and you can also present yourself at any A&E Department and ask for help. Your GP when open can also put you in touch with emergency care.
However it is that you reach out, a common experience is that the thoughts seem different when they are spoken. Bringing them out into the light and exploring them from different perspectives may just help you find a first step on which you can begin to build a recovery. It is certainly worth giving it a go. Counselling can be a very helpful way to explore what you are experiencing, how this has come about, and how you can begin to heal.
No-one should need to suffer shame or guilt for feeling unwell. Suicidal thoughts are a disturbing and dangerous symptom, and anyone experiencing them deserves our loving, kind support. If they affect you, please give sharing them a go.