'Everything has beauty, but not everyone can see' Confucius
'I've always been a worrier.' 'I tend to over-think things' 'I'm too analytical' These are some of the statements clients often make at the start of a first session. The trouble is, worrying can get to be a habit, and every worrying thought has an effect on how we feel emotionally and physically. It affects our behaviour too.
25 years ago, following the birth of my second baby, I plunged into a depression that blind-sided me. I simply didn't see it coming. At first, I thought I was just overtired due to the demands of night-feeding and having two very small children. However, before long, I had changed from a capable young woman, to someone who could barely cope with the demands of day-to-day living.
I ran a work shop recently about Aspergers and autistic spectrum disorder. I began with and over-view of the history of the diagnosis and recommended treatments. It certainly painted an unsettling picture, and one which illustrates my assertion that mental health is only now beginning to emerge from the dark ages.
Have you ever wondered how it is that some people are just more self assured than others? They are more 'grounded' and resilient when things go wrong. They just seem more comfortable in their own skins. Surprisingly, it has nothing to do with how rich or successful they are. The ones with the top jobs, big houses and a wardrobe full of Jimmy Choo's are just as likely to be as insecure and anxious as their less well-off cousins.
Say what you see. It's the simplest thought experiment I know, and demonstrates an essential insight to help you change your mind and raise your personal bar to happiness. Have you ever felt 'stuck' in a situation, lifestyle or relationship? Perhaps the situation doesn't need to change. Perhaps you do?
Do you wish you had more confidence and self esteem? Are you successful on the outside, but harbouring a scary feeling that one day someone will find out you're not as good as you seem to be? Perhaps you need to change the story you are telling yourself about who you really are?
Do you suffer from back ache, shoulder pain or unexplained stiffness and soreness in your joints? If so, you may be experiencing some of the symptoms of the recently identified syndrome, 'sitting disease.'
Have you changed something in your life or inside yourself recently? Or are you procrastinating and feel blocked, like you can’t make a change? Have you come across obstacles to this change or has help come your way? Have you felt the energy in the air? In your dreams? In the sky? Do you know that each day brings a different energy? We have to surf with it, on it and in it… Fighting it or going against it does not work – it just creates more confusion, struggle and displeasure…