Give yourself permission to do what you sense is right

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I ought to. I must. I should. I need to. Other people say I should... She says I'd be crazy to...

Any of these sound familiar? If so, you may be in the habit of living life in the grip of rules that are not of your own making.

Any time you hear an ought, should, must or equivalent, NLP's meta model tells us a good question to ask yourself is 'according to whom?' If the answer is me, then all is well. If you are not sure where the rule comes from, or its from someone other than you, then perhaps pause to reflect.

We are at our most congruent when we trust our intuitive sense of what is good to do. I don't mean acting on impulsive feelings that pass rapidly to be replaced with the next. I mean being with our grounded inner wisdom, that quiet knowing that does not rapidly change, that has a poise and a stillness when we tune into it.

If people are giving you advice that just doesn't sit well, that leaves you feeling uncomfortable in your gut or heart, those sensations are worth reflecting on.

The only person who can truly decide what is good to do is you. It's your life, you need to live it, mistakes and all. We are at our best when we are awake and alive right now, responding to our conscious and unconscious selves, and to the energy fields that we are part of, and allowing space for personal reflection and learning.

So next time a social norm, family rule or other injunction from outside of yourself tips you into a sense of duty or obligation, beware. Wake up to your own sense of knowing and check in. Bearing in mind you, those you love, and the world at large, ask yourself, what's good to do?

Go to the profile of Fe Robinson, Psychotherapist

Fe Robinson, Psychotherapist

I am here to help you thrive, whatever life brings. I offer Psychotherapy, EMDR therapy and Couples Counselling to clients based in Durham. I am UKCP Accredited and an EMDR Europe Practitioner, and offer Clinical Supervision to counsellors and psychotherapists locally. I have worked in private practice, the NHS, and in charitable organisations, with a wide range of clients and conditions.

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