Do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy?

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In couples work, a dynamic that often arises is disagreement. By the time a couple come to counselling, these differences of opinion can often have become entrenched, and have a solidity to them that is causing pain and unhappiness. Each partner sees things in a different way. If you reflect on it, that is actually a given. We each have our own five senses, our own history and experiences, our own beliefs, values, priorities and hopes. How could we not see things through our own, specific lense on the world? We are after all unique.  The problem comes when we insist the other sees things our way too. In the current world of my truth or fake news, it is easy to slip into believing there is only one real truth, one version of events. Oftentimes, you may be right in your perspective. It makes sense to you. But before imposing it on someone else, pause to consider what other versions of events may be possible? How might a by-standard perceive things? What is true for the other people who were involved?  Sometimes it may be more graceful to make space for two truths, to agree to disagree, or even to let it pass. Happiness does not lie in winning the argument, it lies in connecting meaningfully with the person you were previously arguing with.

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Fe Robinson, Psychotherapist

I am here to help you thrive, whatever life brings. I offer Psychotherapy, EMDR therapy and Couples Counselling to clients based in Durham. I am UKCP Accredited and an EMDR Europe Practitioner, and offer Clinical Supervision to counsellors and psychotherapists locally. I have worked in private practice, the NHS, and in charitable organisations, with a wide range of clients and conditions.

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