Bread and Roses
Do something romantic for someone you love.... this was a self inflicted task!
Hello Wake Uppers!
I've missed you. January is nearly over and I hope you've been kind to yourselves indulging in some hibernating and hot chocolate and not too much lettuce and 5 mile runs! January is nearly over and I make no bones of the fact I'm not too keen about this back end of Winter, all our resources are at a low ebb, including positiveness, finances and Vitamin D. That's why I set this romantically themed challenge as who doesn't need an extra bit of love this time of year. But even as I set the challenge, I had no idea how I would accomplish it and what form it would take.
As I pondered a feeling came upon me. I feel like I have been very preoccupied the last few weeks with exam revision and course work as well as the million and one things on my to-do list. I felt like I had been neglecting B and as I examined my feelings regarding this further I knew in my bones that since my son and I have moved in with him, the time we have alone as a couple has diminished. Part of me loves this as I'm never happier than when we are all together, jogging pants on, by the fire with a film on and a large bowl of nibbles however I've picked up that this may not always be the same for B and the 'date nights' we used to regularly enjoy are no longer an option. So, back to the challenge I tried to imagine what he would like. I know he likes food, ha, but I also know that he works long hours and has a three hour commute and is exhausted when he comes home, so I can imagine, arriving home then jumping back in the car to go to restaurant isn't that appealing. So, here's what I did, I discreetly arranged for Cai to stay out late for the evening, I then invited him to a St Dwynwen's date night in our kitchen. I planned a simple three course meal with lobster ( on offer in Tesco!) he was all smiles at the suggestion so I knew I was on the right track. That evening, I laid the table, I lit some candles, lit the log burner and put on some music to chill to, I warmed the red wine, put on some lipstick and a dress and enjoyed the ritual of lovingly cooking a meal. When he arrived home, he showered and joined me for starters. I gave him a card telling him how much I appreciated him. I could tell he was pleased and thanked me at least five times for making an effort. In all honesty in only cost about £20 and a little bit of effort but it was so worth it to see him feel loved. We forget sometimes in this busy life to cherish those closest to us. If you have the energy and the inclination, I would definitely recommend this, as it will give you such a good feeling and help keep you on track as a couple.
I remember reading that being in a couple wasn't all about roses and sweet nothings but it was about sharing bills, blood, sweat, and tears and really being yourself in front of the other warts and all. At the time I remembering thinking noooooooo surely everything has to be romantic all the time. But in reality life is a bit more gritty and you need to take turns supporting each other. Relationships are cyclical and things aren't always great but the good times will come back . But if one stops trying and then the other, the distance grows and sometimes you can never get that intimacy back. Be prepared to work at it. Communicate! Don't expect your partners to be mind readers. What you think is thoughtful, considerate and romantic may be a complete anathema to someone else. I may show my love by cooking a nutritious meal but B showed me his love this weekend by building me a bird table outside the widow so I could watch the birds whilst I was studying. This got me thinking why can't we have it all if we are willing to put in a bit of effort?
Love and Light, Fi
Ps Vanessa you inspired me to do something for my sister too who has recently finished her treatment, love has many facets and we are better for it.