The stories I don't tell

In week 45 of the Great Wake-Up, we were challenged to share a story we've never told.

Go to the profile of Vanessa
Nov 06, 2016
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I am - largely - an open book. The things I think and feel are typically writ large across my face (sometimes to my cost, but I've come to accept that I'm someone meant to live honestly). This means I've spent a fair bit of time trying to think of a new story to tell, without much luck.

What became clear, as I touched on a couple of stories that I've not shared, is that there is a closed chapter in my book. And it's going to stay that way.

Some of the stories I keep there are events I am ashamed to own, but they are also events that I know are not a true picture of me. They are unfortunate convergences of fear and ignorance, and they act to firm my resolve and shape the person I am determined to be. I can see no benefit in opening them to the scrutiny of others without context, letting them loom larger (or smaller) in the totality of me than they should.

Other stories are works in progress, where I am still seeking the meaning in shifting strands. These snippets are waiting to be woven into my larger story as their import becomes clear. If you've ever played "rivers" on a beach, you'll know what I mean... Sometimes the tiniest tweak changes the course of the entire river, when it would have just pushed through a larger dam.

Sometimes the meaning in a story takes a while to show up, so I am content to wait, and let things settle, before opening unfinished chapters.

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Vanessa

cat lover, wife, designer, analyst (the spreadsheet kind...), friend, sister, daughter, writer, consultant, lover of beauty...
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Go to the profile of Mark Cuddy
Mark Cuddy 8 months ago

Nice post. Some closed chapters should stay closed and there isn't any point in opening them when we've learned from them and refuse to make the same mistake again. And whose business is it anyway? People should take you for the person showing up today not the shadow of yesterday. Why crucify ourselves for mistakes in the past, taken out of context and when we were different people and when deep down we are good people in the here and now and moving forward with our lives. Take it easy and keep smiling.

Go to the profile of Chris Baréz-Brown
Chris Baréz-Brown 8 months ago

Love the rivers analogy and yes the willingness to be quiet until the moment is right is a wonderful thing. C x

Go to the profile of Fi  Dolben
Fi Dolben 8 months ago

I'm with you on this... as I think I've mentioned some things are best left to rest where they are, no need to revisit and as you so eloquently say they even if we are not proud of some moments they have shaped us to become who we now are. YAY to that and the 'rivers' was a perfect analogy.

Go to the profile of Jacqui
Jacqui 8 months ago

I completely agree. We all have a right to keep any story back about ourselves that we wish. Some of our stories may well be so unrepresentative of who we are now anyway!