So, my husband and I just had our 30th wedding anniversary. That is a looonngg time.
Looking back, there’s been many highs and many lows. Somehow we’ve managed to get through them and are still, happily, married. I do wonder what makes some relationships last and why others don’t.
Friendships, family relations, work colleagues and our relationships with them takes effort and time. How do we we keep them going? What makes us put in the work necessary with some and not bother with others?
Connection/love is one of our human needs and we all need this to function and live a fulfilled life. To cover this need we search for connection and look for love. When we are in relationships this need has to be topped up regularly in order to be content and able to function.
One thing I think plays a big role in a relationship is common views on life and understanding of where we come from. If our backgrounds are really different, we have to work harder on learning about each other and acceptance of differences. If the love is there, everything is possible.
A partner has a lot to live up to and be accepting of each others’ needs can be difficult at times.
Here are a few tips:
Communication is essential!
Talk instead of making assumptions and have expectations they might not be able to live up to.
Accept different views unless totally unreasonable. Agree to disagree when needed.
Listen and allow people to speak, don’t interrupt.
If someone takes all your energy every time you meet, they might not be good for you.
Friends should give and take, not just take.
Your children are your children, no matter what. Make sure you always talk to them throughout each stage in their lives. They might not always want to but persist.
Expect the downs as well as the ups. Happiness is not a constant. Be prepared and make sure your love bank is topped up.
LAUGH TOGETHER!! With your partner, with your children, with friends and at work. Such an important part of life and it makes living a lot easier.
Have a think about what relationships need more attention in your life. If they are important to you, make an effort even if you feel like you are always the one doing just that. The other person will appreciate it.