"What's JOMO, when can I go?" FOMO said
Welcome to my blog, a 40+ woman’s take on modern day lifestyle, championing the fact that at this 40+ age we are more alive than ever.
This week I have been learning all about JOMO - the ‘Joy Of Missing Out’ - and I nearly did, if it wasn’t for a client of mine who told me about the new rebellion. Think about some of the basic principles of mindfulness and many life-coaching techniques that focus on the art of bringing attention to the here and the now, that’s JOMO . Celebrating what you do have and not what you don’t.
In fact, it was only this week that I posted in the 40 plusser Facebook Group that this was one of my ‘what would you say to your younger self’ words of wisdom. Instead of chasing your tail for the next ‘thing’, enjoy the ‘thing’ you have today. 😊
In a blog post on Psychology Today, Kristen Fuller said JOMO is essentially the “emotionally intelligent antidote to FOMO” and it is “about being present and being content with where you are at in life”. Some people are born with it, others learn to embrace it.
So which one are you? The born with it? Or learning to embrace it?
I would fit into the latter. I had an acute attack of FOMO in my 20s; I just didn’t know it was a ‘thing’. Thank goodness there was no social media around then #cringe #introuble #toomuchfun. Constantly out and spending time with friends from all different genres, hanging out with Rockerbillies and Goths one night, then New Romantics and Soul Girls the next. The 80s was an eclectic time for fashion and music and somehow you got on and mixed. All this and not a mobile phone in sight. Perhaps the odd Polaroid camera moment for instant photographic evidence. We always managed to arrange meet ups, normally on time, depending on how long it took to backcomb my hair! Bananarama style!
So what is the fixation? Are we ready to embrace a life more JOMO than FOMO?
My three ways to be more JO than FO
1. Pick up a pen and paper (journal, notebook or diary) and write down 10 things that give you JOY now, this very day.
The JOY of writing, I have myself mentioned this a few times in my previous blogs. It is cathartic, rewarding and good for the soul. If you want to download a copy of a FREE toolkit MY JOYFUL MOMENTS #putitdown
This is all about being in the moment, your moment, instead of picking up your device and checking out other people’s moments. What is wrong with enjoying creeping out of bed early, to carve pumpkins and make soup before the household is awake and enjoying it – and not posting. What is wrong with enjoying writing? What’s wrong with enjoying doing nothing? Just being.
Did I miss out on NOT posting my pumpkin story? Absolutely not. It was my moment.
2. I dare you to say ‘no’ to an invitation!
This is one for the ‘out of my comfort zone’ tick box. Leading up to the festive period you may get several invitations or you may be inviting family and friends over yourself. If it falls on a crazy busy day, or you feel like you are over committing, or just want to have a day of ‘chilling’, then you are within your perfect right to say ‘thanks so much for the kind offer, but in fact I/we are not able to come – hope you all have a smashing time’. In return, if others say ‘no’ to your invitations, accept their answer graciously.
As a life coach I am working with such a variety of people, but all have one thing in common: time. Lack of time, fearful that there is not enough time and trying to create time for things to happen. It is no surprise when helping to create TIME that time wasting comes up on every session, usually in the form of social media FOMO. The evil time-stealer of our day and age. It won’t be the Grinch that steals Christmas, it will be our obsession with FOMO and feeling bad that our festive frolics don’t look as good as Uncle Bob’s.
Set your social media boundaries - today.
I would like to take this opportunity to apologise to anyone who doesn’t get an instant reply, but I am probably in the bath, watching a film or reading – without devices #boundaries #setlimits
3. Understand why Missing Out is not as negative as you think
Missing out seems to reflect that you have lost, or not achieved the ‘thing’, that someone else is ‘better’ than you. Comparisonitus sets in and before you know it, you’re sobbing into your phone. Tell that to JK Rowling – she missed out many times; Oprah Winfrey – she got fired for being too emotional as a reporter and missed out; Lady Gaga – she got signed and dropped within three months, but did she miss out? Now all these leading ladies had something in common - but it led them to other things.
Mindfulness teaches us to ‘note’ when our mind wanders, to return to the breath in the now. Can we use this ‘noting’ technique when our hand reaches out (usually on auto-pilot) to our phones or devices making a conscious decision NOT to scroll through social media posts?
#PUT IT DOWN
I missed out, but something else happened instead - but if we fill our ‘downtime’ checking out everyone else’s ‘stuff’ how are we ever going to work out our own ‘stuff’. Is Aunt Madge’s dinner at a local restaurant really that interesting?
So goodbye FO and let’s welcome JO into our lives.
Stay colourful my friends